Christopher Ruggles's Blog (5)

Bah Humbug!

We are at the center of possibly the hardest part of the year for most of us; the holidays.  The first holidays after I lost Barry were hard, but I had made the decision not to allow my grief to keep me in bed.  I got out of bed and I celebrated each in the ways that I wanted!  I didn't allow my family to dictate my agenda.  I went out and did the things I wanted to do.  I went to the movies, I drove around, I met with friends, etc.  I created new, happy memories.  At the same time, I kept…

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Added by Christopher Ruggles on December 18, 2012 at 12:14am — No Comments

U-Haul

Sometimes I wish I could rent one of those trucks and pack up all the pain and sorrow in my heart.  It would take several to do the job.  Grief is quite possibly the hardest and heaviest burden to bear. It is something that many of us feel we have to carry alone.  That is only partially true.  The path of grief is ours alone to walk, but we can have company from time to time so that the path isn't quite so lonely.  

There are people in our lives who want to help us heal, to…

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Added by Christopher Ruggles on December 7, 2012 at 12:30am — 1 Comment

Communication Is Key

When that vessel that holds our divine spark shatters after experiencing loss, everything kind of goes haywire.  Our emotions run rampant, our memory becomes swiss cheese, and often times we don't say what we mean.  The last one isn't intentional, it just happens.  I think it's a combination of the first two that causes our basic communication skills to basically shut down.  In our heads we're thinking one thing; out of our mouths comes something either incomprehensible or sugar coated so we…

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Added by Christopher Ruggles on November 29, 2012 at 4:49pm — No Comments

The Strange Things To Come

Grief does very strange things to us, both physically and mentally.  Our emotions change in a fraction of a second, often making us feel like we're either going completely mad or we're schizophrenic.  Physically, after the initial loss, we have that sensation of having a large empty space in our chest.

One of the things that are the most difficult to get through, are the physical habits we had.  Specifically, having another person next to us in bed.  That physical act affects…

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Added by Christopher Ruggles on November 19, 2012 at 2:07pm — No Comments

No Regrets

I've seen several people posting about all the regrets they have surrounding their spouses death.  I know how difficult that is to bear.  My Barry, the light of my heart, took his life.  I found him in the garage one morning, hanging by a rope.  For several days after he died, I was completely overcome with regret.  It ate away what was left of me.  I let it consume me completely.  Why didn't I see this coming?  What did he do differently in the days leading to this?  Why didn't I wake up…

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Added by Christopher Ruggles on August 13, 2012 at 1:39am — 2 Comments

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