Kim's Blog – May 2011 Archive (4)

what to think

 I am in just a daze sometimes. Seems like the pain and agony will never end. I just don't understand living again. I sometimes just would like to go into a coma and not deal with the hurt and pain anymore I miss my son and picking up the pieces of what is left of my life is a hugh undertaking. I often ask why and then I see my grandsons and realize life goes on. Weather I want to be in it or not. Something are just to hard to let go of. My grieve counsler told me once that cant isn't an…

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Added by Kim on May 18, 2011 at 11:03pm — No Comments

things are bad

 I read somewhere on here that the 2nd year was the worst but I think it is going to hurt like this in my life. All this pain and agony. I sometimes see myself like Scarlott in Gone with the wind. I'll think about that tomorrow or If I have to lie cheat or steal I will never be hungry again but with my fist in the air. This will not beat me. I will over come all this sadness. I will never hurt like this again. I will not loose my mind. I will fight and death u took one but u will not get me.…

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Added by Kim on May 16, 2011 at 12:37am — No Comments

Step Back

 I keep telling myself all is going to be ok and I can keep going but deep inside I can't. I wake up and really don't care if I do or don't. I want to feel safe again. I want to have peace of mind. I just have this nagging feeling I missed something. I didn't pay enough attention. I gave the drs to much freedom. I go over and over the last 7 years and some of it is just a blurr. I can't remember nothing. It is like my mind shut down and I went went through the motions of life. I was frozen…

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Added by Kim on May 12, 2011 at 1:28am — No Comments

Things I hate

 If I hear one more time the Lord don't put more on us than we can bare I am going to loose my mind. How easy those words come from somebody that have not sufford this loss. How can they possibly know.. but yet they give that saying out like a banner. I hate it.

Added by Kim on May 11, 2011 at 9:28am — 6 Comments

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