Kim's Blog (24)

Feeling useless

I am a christian woman and raised my kids to be the same. I do not believe in suicide so let's get it straight. I picture Chris in Gods arms holding him and keeping him safe till I can get there but what I don't understand is why am I still here? My heart is so broken and my soul in sorrow. Most people tell me that with time things get easier but the heartake never goes away. I don't believe God's purpose for me is to live the rest of my life so miserable. Everyone is so full of advise but for… Continue

Added by Kim on January 8, 2010 at 6:53am — 2 Comments

Now what

We took my son back to where he was born and baptized in order to do a memorial service. I think it helped a little. But I still want my son back. I miss him. He was my best friend. We had to spend so much time together because of his illness it got to the place that we were all we had was each other. When he was sick you couldn't have company because he had no immune system and now he is gone. How can I go for the rest of my life and not hear his voice or see him? I don't know what to do with… Continue

Added by Kim on January 4, 2010 at 7:44pm — No Comments

I made it through Christmas

27 years of truditions went down the drain. I couldn't face Christmas at all this year. Nothing seems to be coming together. It is hard to put on a happy face when you feel so bad that you want th hit someone so they feel as bad as I do. I thought this is to get easier and it don't everyday my heart breaks more and more. Phone rings I pray it is him and I am having a bad dream. I don't know what to do. I feel so many emotions I can't deal with them. I just don't know where to start to pick up… Continue

Added by Kim on December 26, 2009 at 9:54pm — No Comments

Cancer taking my son

I am new at this I just lost my son on Dec 5 2009 from a 3 relapse of cancer leukemia. He had a stem cell transplant and was doing fine for 1 year 11 months almost to the day. I have taken care of him for the last 5 years. He had a long battle. I never said he had cancer it was we had cancer. The thing that bothers me so much I feel like I lied to him. When he relapsed I told him it was just another bump in the road. He would get through this with faith and Gods help. God had always taken care… Continue

Added by Kim on December 24, 2009 at 11:51pm — 2 Comments

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