Martin Connors's Blog (113)

Farley-Kluger Initiative

Father’s Day is quickly approaching and I must say, I am not looking forward to it. It’s because I am a grieving dad. Just writing those horrific words causes me to pause and think about how difficult this journey has been and will continue to be for some time. I lost my son, Timothy in 2011 and have spent the past two trying to survive this loss. As much as a try, I cannot make sense of my son's death.



You see, most people think that bereaved parents shouldpick themselves up, dust… Continue

Added by Martin Connors on June 11, 2013 at 7:37pm — 3 Comments

Tim's Second Angelversary May 17, 2013

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on May 24, 2013 at 12:00am — No Comments

The Jacket

I have Tim’s school bag. The strap is torn from the impact and heavy from his school books.  I don’t know exactly what happened to his jacket that he was wearing.  It was my jacket which was my platoon jacket from when I was in the Police Academy – my name and class number and platoon designation of “A”.  Over the years it became a ratty thing that Tim took to wearin…

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on April 27, 2013 at 2:30pm — 1 Comment

A Sink Full of Dishes and Planning a Funeral

When I got home that evening, Tuesday, May 17, 2011, about 7:30 PM, I found people assembled at my home.  There were representatives from the Fraternal Order of Police, folks I had worked with and folks that I knew by reputation, and few co-workers.  The FOP set up a table of food, treats, and beverages in the living room.  Tasha, Jun’s wife, went to-and-fro picking after the kids and playing with my daughters.  Condolences were offered with hugs, hand-shakes, man-hugs where the arms are…

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on April 17, 2013 at 6:39pm — No Comments

Just Breathe..

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on April 8, 2013 at 3:30am — No Comments

Easter 2013: Building a New Basket

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on March 31, 2013 at 2:30pm — No Comments

Time of Your LIfe (with Tim's Voicemail Message)

Added by Martin Connors on March 22, 2013 at 1:25am — No Comments

Gone Too Soon (Video Tribute)

Added by Martin Connors on March 6, 2013 at 11:37pm — No Comments

Who’d You Be Today?

I see your smile,

I see your face,

I hear you laughing in the rain.

I still can't believe you're gone.

                                                                                                          ~William Luther & Aimee Mayo

Who’d You Be Today?…

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on February 28, 2013 at 9:30pm — No Comments

Changes

Changes

I watch the ripples change their size

But never leave the stream

Of warm impermanence and

So the days float through my eyes

But still the days seem the same

~David Bowie

 

After Timmy died, I found it hard to go into his bedroom.  I could still smell his scent – the body wash, deodorant, and even his musk and sweat on the sheets.  I could almost hear his laughter from…

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on February 26, 2013 at 10:00pm — 1 Comment

A Personal Declaration to Seek Solace

I choose to pursue solace, seek it out every day with each breath I take.  If my pursuit takes me to helping another grieving parent or saving a life so be it.  It is part of who I am. 

This is my own personal declaration to find peace because it is who I was before my son was taken, and it is who I am since.  I cannot afford to torment myself, family, friends,…

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on January 2, 2013 at 1:30am — No Comments

The Ninety-Five Percent Sister

In the fall of 2005, we were in to the second trimester of Gi’s pregnancy with Alaina; there were ultrasounds ordered at Pennsylvania Hospital.  We didn’t know if Alaina was to be a boy or a girl.  The doctor reviewed the images and asked if we wanted to know the sex.  We decided we did and we were told that we were to expect a girl.

“I can tell you that I am…

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on December 30, 2012 at 11:30pm — 2 Comments

Christmas Day 2012

Added by Martin Connors on December 26, 2012 at 10:57pm — No Comments

Newtown - Why?

Friday, December 14, 2012 has ended, the sun has risen and a new day begun.  It’s now almost twenty-four hours since a gunman walked into a school in Newtown, Connecticut, and slaughtered twenty-six human beings; one being his mother, the majority children - babies!  He is identified as Adam Lanza.  Of course the media tells of his sordid past – giving him a character…

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on December 15, 2012 at 11:30am — 2 Comments

Tim, A Christmas Hero

In November, 2010, my buddy Kenny posted a picture of a kitten on his Facebook page explaining how his daughter Samantha saved a kitten from some kid threatening to hurt it; Kenny’s cat didn’t take to the kitten being in her domain and she had to be kept at his sister-in-law’s home.  I wrote to Kenny, telling him that I would take the kitten in, provided that no one else had already.  Later that evening I, along with Gi,…

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on December 8, 2012 at 10:35pm — 2 Comments

Thanksgiving 2012, Plans for the Day, and Giving Thanks

This Thanksgiving, Thursday, November 22, 2012 marks the beginning of the second holiday season without Timmy.  As melancholy as it is without my son, I am grateful for the memories and love I have of my son, as I am grateful for my surviving children.  I am grateful for the support I had received from family and friends during the course of the past eighteen months since Tim’s death; without that support I would have fallen into an abyss which may have been a struggle to climb out of and…

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on November 22, 2012 at 2:59am — 4 Comments

Day-Cation, Kryptos, and the Spy Museum

By the summer of 2002, Timmy had developed an interest in spies and spying equipment, in part due to the Spy Kids movie directed by Robert Rodriguez that came out in the spring of 2001 and DVD and VHS by September 2001.  Timmy was fascinated by the idea that kids were the heroes who were tasked with saving their parents whom were spies and from a long family line of spies on each side of the family.  Other media bolstered his fascination – Max Steel, Johnny Quest, the Power Rangers – shows…

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on November 17, 2012 at 4:16am — No Comments

Santa Scanners, Gift Wrap, and a Coke for a Marine

The chain he drew was clasped about his middle. It was long, and wound about him like a tail; and it was made (for Scrooge observed it closely) of cash-boxes, keys, padlocks, ledgers, deeds, and heavy purses wrought in steel.

~ A Christmas Carol

Charles Dickens, 1843

 

The Holidays are soon to be upon us.  To some of us it is a time to remember those we lost; those that left us either through…

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on November 10, 2012 at 10:30pm — 1 Comment

The Prodigal Parent

While I stood over Tim, as he was laying on the gurney, I turned to see a priest and an older woman standing off to the side behind me.  The priest, a short man, about my height of five foot-six inches, dressed in black with the exception of his collar.  The woman, dressed in professional attire, appeared to be out of place in the Emergency Room.  I didn’t know them.  I didn’t care to know either of them.  I assumed the…

Continue

Added by Martin Connors on November 4, 2012 at 2:59am — 2 Comments

After a Death, the Pain That Doesn’t Go Away New York Times September 29, 2009

After a Death, the Pain That Doesn’t Go Away



Each of the 2.5 million annual deaths in the United States directly affects four other people, on average. For most of these people, the suffering is finite — painful and lasting, of course, but not so disabling that 2 or 20 years later the person can barely get out of bed in the morning.





Yana Paskova for The New York Times

MENTAL HEALTH Dr. M. Katherine Shear, a professor of psychiatry at Columbia University, said… Continue

Added by Martin Connors on October 15, 2012 at 11:26pm — No Comments

Latest Conversations

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2019   Created by Legacy.com.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service