Martin Connors's Blog (113)

Brotherhood and Family

Tasha and Jun have been family for over ten years.  Jun, short for Junior and because I refuse to spell his nick-name with an "e", was my partner in the 12th District when I was still in uniform.  For nearly four years, we save each other's butts on more than one occasion.  Jun is Alaina's God-Father; Tasha is Charlotte's God-Mother.  Almost every Christmas,…

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Added by Martin Connors on July 2, 2012 at 4:00pm — No Comments

Father's Day: One Year Later

O Muses, O high genius, now assist me!

O memory, that didst write down what I saw,

Here thy nobility shall be manifest!


~ Canto II, The Inferno, The Divine Comedy

Dante Alighieri…



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Added by Martin Connors on June 21, 2012 at 7:00pm — No Comments

Tattoos and Memories

Midway upon the journey of our life

I found myself within a forest dark,

For the straightforward pathway had been lost.…

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Added by Martin Connors on June 4, 2012 at 1:30am — No Comments

Tim and Spider-Man with Heart

It is one year today, May 17, 2012, since my son was killed. I am not sure how I am feeling.

Added by Martin Connors on May 17, 2012 at 8:16am — No Comments

Tim as an Angel

Added by Martin Connors on May 4, 2012 at 12:35am — No Comments

Angelversary

Added by Martin Connors on April 24, 2012 at 1:44pm — No Comments

Is There Really Overcoming Grief?

To be honest when it comes to the grief of losing a child there is no getting over it. It’s a misperception in reality. It is moving through it. Imagine being immersed in a giant bubble. The more you push against it, the more resistant it is to breaking through. The bubble is a part of you – a manifestation of sadness, loss, anger, and questioning faith – at least in my case.…

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Added by Martin Connors on April 22, 2012 at 10:00pm — 1 Comment

Butterflies, Dried Flowers, and Candles

On June 16, 2011, Friday, Archbishop Ryan High School had its transition Mass for the Freshman becoming Sophomores when school would resume in September. I appreciated being invited to attend with Gi and the girls. It was nearly a month since Tim was killed; nearly a month since the funeral?

 

Was it really a month?

 

I didn't know where the time…

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Added by Martin Connors on April 22, 2012 at 11:53am — No Comments

Tim's Grave Easter Sunday April 8, 2012

Added by Martin Connors on April 10, 2012 at 8:00pm — No Comments

Easter Egg Graphic for Timmy by Tami

Added by Martin Connors on April 5, 2012 at 11:41pm — No Comments

Easter Basket for Tim

Added by Martin Connors on March 29, 2012 at 1:06pm — No Comments

Secrets of Heaven

 

 

There are nights I wish you would tell the secrets of Heaven to me

Are God’s root-beer floats better than…

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Added by Martin Connors on March 24, 2012 at 11:00pm — No Comments

Don't Look for Me

 

Don't look for me in the darkness

Look past to the stars

Where I smile down…

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Added by Martin Connors on March 20, 2012 at 11:00pm — No Comments

Stuffed Up Shadow

Nearly every child has something to take to bed with him or her.  It can be a favorite toy, or something else iconic, that will give comfort and a feeling of safety from nightmares or the monster under the bed or hides in the closet.  For a little girl it could be a doll, for a boy a G.I. Joe…it doesn’t…
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Added by Martin Connors on March 15, 2012 at 11:00pm — No Comments

Saved Voice Mail and Dominoes

There some days I listen to my voice mail messages.  I have a voice mail saved from Timmy from two months before he was killed.  I sit and listen, save, listen, save again, listen again...some days afraid that if I don't listen to the voice mail, it will be gone.  I also have the message from Mayor Nutter calling me to express his condolences.  I can hear his voice…

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Added by Martin Connors on March 5, 2012 at 2:30am — No Comments

Happy Valentine's Day Monk!

Added by Martin Connors on February 14, 2012 at 11:30pm — No Comments

Changes and Revelations

Sometimes, not always, but sometimes I feel that I let him down.  When I got that phone call, I was literally physically passing the hospital to pick him up at his school.  Why do I feel this way?  My answer, to me, is that Tim called out to me to come get him.  My friends, family, priest, and therapist all tell me I should not feel this way...and that to feel this way is normal with any grieving parent.  I get reminded that it’s a loving parent that will die protecting his or her child - I…

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Added by Martin Connors on January 25, 2012 at 9:03pm — 1 Comment

Mid-Winter's Slumber

This is a short story I had written last year.  I wrote it three months before my Tim was killed.  I took an experience going to a relative’s house in the middle of the night because someone died.  I modeled the little boy after Timmy.  I forgot all about it, until someone commented on it tonight on Facebook.


Mid-Winter…
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Added by Martin Connors on January 10, 2012 at 10:30pm — No Comments

Christmas Day 2011

I never thought that I would, in my life time, making a grave blanket for my son.  He helped me make the ones for my mom - picking out decorations, cutting the wire or tying it to the branch stems from the trimmings. If time permitted he drove with me to my mom's grave and keep me…

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Added by Martin Connors on December 25, 2011 at 4:48pm — No Comments

Christmas Mourning

The presents are placed under the tree,

An empty spot where your gifts were to be

Christmas lights twinkle in the tree,…

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Added by Martin Connors on December 25, 2011 at 2:00am — No Comments

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