Nancy Weil's Blog (35)

The Hidden Blessings of Grief

Much of the grieving process focuses on our loss. We miss our loved one so much that it hurts, and we wonder how we will ever make it through the pain. We spend time looking back at the past with regret and grow anxious as we anticipate a future without our loved one in it. We wonder how we…

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Added by Nancy Weil on December 26, 2013 at 2:00pm — 2 Comments

The Greatest Gift You Can Give

‘Tis the season of giving and receiving. Yet our grief keeps us from feeling like going out to the mall or taking the time and energy to find just the right present for our family member. Our tree may remain boxed this year and our lights still in their tangled mess of cords as we just try to make it through the day, much less the holidays.  Still there is a gift you can give to your family more valuable than anything you can buy on the internet, more…

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Added by Nancy Weil on December 19, 2013 at 12:00pm — No Comments

The Gift of the Present

I was speaking to a reporter about sudden death and how this type of grief differs from anticipated death. I explained that it was no better or worse, just different. No one is ever ready to say goodbye to someone they love, no matter the circumstances. Loss is hard and never invited into our lives. It comes to all, and our hearts yearn for what we can never have again – our loved one’s voice, touch, smile and laugh.…

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Added by Nancy Weil on November 26, 2013 at 9:00am — No Comments

Making Cents of it All

3 pennies (Image via Flickr Creative Commons / agahran I read an article about a grief support group being held in an all boys high school. At a time of life when their greatest worry should be acne, girlfriends and homework, these boys all were struggling with the death of a parent. The very people we take for granted will be there for us when we get home from school or across the dinner table at night, had tragically left this world too soon. These young men who had to hold it together all day, were able to be vulnerable and show…

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Added by Nancy Weil on September 5, 2013 at 10:24am — No Comments

We are not our emotions

Our grief support group began as it always did, everyone introducing themselves and stating how they were doing. It was June and anniversary dates, Father’s Day, birthdays and other trigger dates were all weighing heavily on the hearts of those in attendance. One after the other person said things like: “I am horrible.” “I am so sad.” “I am lost without him.” The energy in the room grew heavier and heavier as each related how difficult it was to cope with so many memories tied to…

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Added by Nancy Weil on July 8, 2013 at 11:08am — 6 Comments

3 Myths About Grief Support

Three Myths About Grief Support Programs Dispelled

Myth #1 – All you do at grief support is tell your sad story and cry.

Not at most programs! People laugh, they cry, they share and they feel…

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Added by Nancy Weil on April 12, 2013 at 9:28am — No Comments

A Bumper Sticker Life

Imagine if you had to sum up your life in only a few words. What would you say? What area of your life would you focus on? Work? Family? Philosophy of life? Would you simply state husband, wife, mother or father? All of your life experiences expressed in a short sentence...

 

This seems to be an impossible task. Yet it is exactly what is done every day when people design their loved one’s marker or monument. Beyond the name and dates, there is a small amount of space…

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Added by Nancy Weil on January 15, 2013 at 10:00am — 2 Comments

Can't Delete Them From Our Lives

Going through my phone contacts the other day, I spotted the name and phone number of a dear friend of mine. I smiled at the thought of her and imagined her reassuring voice that greeted me whenever I called and the way she was so interested in the mundane details of my life. How I longed to have one more conversation with her, but she died two years ago from cancer. I found the number I needed and dialed; Donna’s name still securely in my list of contacts. I will never delete her…

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Added by Nancy Weil on January 3, 2013 at 10:00am — 1 Comment

Handling the Holidays

The leftovers have been eaten, the out of town family has returned back to their homes, work begins again… another Thanksgiving is done. Yet the holidays are not over. You cannot go anywhere without hearing Christmas music or seeing decorations everywhere you look. What was once a joyous season has become a constant reminder of your loss. You wish you could feel “merry” or “jolly,” but…

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Added by Nancy Weil on November 26, 2012 at 10:00am — No Comments

I Am Thankful

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I wanted to share a poem written by Darcie Sims. If you are grieving this holiday season, this poem is for you.



For That, I Am Thankful

By Darcie Sims



It doesn’t seem to get any better, but it doesn’t get any worse either. 



For that, I am thankful.



There are no more pictures to be…

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Added by Nancy Weil on November 16, 2012 at 12:59pm — No Comments

Set in Stone

Grief is a funny thing. Our mind tells us one thing, but our heart tells a different story. Healing from grief is a process of getting both of them in agreement. We know that our loved one has died, we attended their funeral and ate the casseroles our friends brought over. Yet our heart still expects to see them sitting in their chair when we walk in the door or to hear their voice when the phone rings. We think we see them out of the corner of our eye when we are out in a crowd.…

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Added by Nancy Weil on September 21, 2012 at 4:00pm — No Comments

'You’re Still Going to Grief Support?'

This is the question that people who attend our grief support groups are asked by their family and friends. They cannot understand why their loved one would want to continue attending a grief support group months or even years following their loss. For those who are part of the group, the answer is simple, “It is like going back to see my family.”



Family – for most, this is the group of people you are born into or marry into. For some, however, a new sort of family is…

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Added by Nancy Weil on August 30, 2012 at 2:30pm — No Comments

Grief Is a Marathon

On mile 23 my legs were ready to admit defeat. Mentally I was still focused on crossing that finish line, but my body was weary in the heat of the day. Walking 26.2 miles is not an easy feat, especially when you are out of shape and overweight. While I trained for this day, nothing prepares you for the actual event.



By mile 11 I had already learned that mental attitude was far more important than physical training. I witnessed people talk themselves out of the race. “I…

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Added by Nancy Weil on July 13, 2012 at 8:30am — No Comments

A Broken Heart Doesn’t Show

“We are the walking wounded. Our lives are seemingly normal for those looking at us from the outside, but we know differently – for a broken heart doesn’t show from the outside,” said a participant in my grief support group. It is true that life continues following the death of a loved one. Groceries still need to be bought and clothes laundered. Jobs require our attendance and our attention. Little league games, dance recitals, graduations and weddings still take place. For those…

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Added by Nancy Weil on June 27, 2012 at 12:00pm — 3 Comments

Our Father, Who Art in Heaven

This line of a prayer takes on a new meaning when it is our father and not the Heavenly Father we are thinking of as Father’s Day arrives. The man who was there for us – changing our diapers…or not, teaching us to ride a bike…or not, walking us down the aisle…or not. It does not matter what he did or did not do for us, all that matters to our hearts is that he was our dad and we remember him each Father’s Day. It would be wonderful if each of us was given the gift of a father like…

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Added by Nancy Weil on June 14, 2012 at 10:00am — No Comments

Everyone is Healed

Working with so many people who are grieving, I have come to a conclusion. There are people willing to do the work that it takes to adjust to a life without their loved one and there are people who aren’t. There are people who will remain bitter and angry always. There are people who will cling to the pain of grief and those who will forever identify themselves as “bereaved.” Queen Victoria did. Following the death of her beloved husband, Prince Albert, she wore black every day for…

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Added by Nancy Weil on May 17, 2012 at 12:30pm — 4 Comments

Lilies of the Valley

I can still see the Lilies of the Valley that surrounded my grandparents' small patio. They would pop up around the stepping stones every year and announce the arrival of spring. Many Mother’s Days would be spent on that patio enjoying a family dinner. Only rain would chase us inside. Although it has been many years since I spent Mother’s Day there, I cannot help but think of it when Mother’s Day approaches. Love, laughter and family defined the day. This Mother’s Day will be quite…

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Added by Nancy Weil on May 3, 2012 at 9:00am — No Comments

May Faith Guide You

With Easter almost here, I would like to share with you an article written by my friend, Jeffrey Reed.  May each of you find peace in this holy season.



May Faith Guide You



During the season of Lent we are asked to sacrifice, we also sacrifice during the grief process. The word sacrifice means: the giving up of something valued or important. During the grief process both pre- and post-death we are asked to sacrifice and we do so freely. Our day-to-day…

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Added by Nancy Weil on April 7, 2012 at 6:00pm — No Comments

Emerging from Grief

As spring emerges, we may remember this as “the winter that wasn’t”  but somehow we still yearn for the daily dose of sunshine that lifts our spirits. The trees have lain dormant for months, their branches bare and without life. Soon blossoms will emerge and once again the leaves will appear, the birds will nest and the squirrels will climb about the branches. Full of life, the tree was never really gone, it just rested a while to regain the strength it would need in the months…

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Added by Nancy Weil on March 15, 2012 at 4:00pm — No Comments

I’ll See You in My Dreams

There is an old song whose lyrics go, “I'll see you in my dreams, hold you in my dreams.” So many who have lost a loved one wish for this to happen. I remember going into work one day and being called to a friend’s office. Her father had died months before and tears were streaming down her face as she told me of her dream the night before. “He was there. My father stood in…

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Added by Nancy Weil on February 28, 2012 at 10:00am — 5 Comments

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