Last week we prepared for our annual neighborhood yard sale.
As we went through things, we came across many of our sons belongings. Most we knew we had, but there were a few items we found that we didn't realize were with us.
For me, there is no way I can part with any of his things.
We display his favorite things; music posters, egyptian art, music equipment, etc, in our bedroom. There we can enjoy it and it isn't out in the main house to make others feel uncomfortable. Some of you will understand that statement, others won't, thankfully.
We decided that we would put his music equipment away in storage. He was an avid musician; a writer and guitarist. It is so hard to put his things even into storage.
Most of his clothes are with friends/family. He had a wide array of concert shirts and name brand clothing; each had special memories for different people, so we allowed his friends and family to have what they wanted when he passed.
Since he has living children, all his things will go to them one day. We will keep it safe until they are old enough to appreciate the emotional value of his things. I think when the day comes to give them to his children, it will be hard to part with, but I hope that they use their own musical talents to learn to use the music equipment. My son would definately want them to excel in music. They both already have a great ear for music, even at their young ages of 4 and 7 years old. Perhaps one day, one of them, will record his written music. It is so beautiful and he left all the sheet music and lyrics for them.
He also left videos of himself playing and singing; one is of him talking about his battles with addiction.
His favorite blanket I have used since his death. That I will always keep with me. Perhaps even be buried with it. It makes me feel closer to him, when I am alone and need his closeness to help me through my grief.
They aren't just "things". They are his story, his scent and the sounds of my loving, and forever missed, son. They are important items to show future generations that he once existed here on earth. To give a piece of who he was and who he wanted to be, when his life was cut so short.
His memory deserves to be kept alive. Forever. He was our Rocky, our son, a father and a friend.
Our hearts will forever be empty until we are all together again on the other side. Nothing will ever fill that void.
His things hold great memory of him, though.