My husband's health notably got worse after a stroke about a year ago. Although his life was spared for a while, it was obvious to both of us - although not discussed much - that he probably would not out-live me. I had dealt with being a widow before. He had been a widow and one day we came up with the idea of Huggy. Near Valentine's day he bought me a huge stuffed Monkey and we named it Huggy. Frequently he or I would hug the monkey. The monkey was to collect all hugs and return them to the spouse that was left.
I do hug Huggie, but I switched it to the bear he had as a young man when he traveled on his truck route. I hug it a lot, and it gives me comfort without making me sneeze as the precious pets do. I sleep with it,hug it when I talk to my husband, and tell it good night with 3 kisses as we did a few short months ago. We do what we do to heal, even if those outside won't understand.
I also greet his picture each morning - and try to do so with cheerfulness. Beneath his picture are the words "Have a nice day." He also told me to be nice to the kiddies before I went to work in the classroom. I want him back, but I can not do that. I refuse to let this pain destroy me and I will continue to keep him in my mind in a positive way, as he would have wanted. Frankie Younger