It's been 1 month today since my son, Landyn, passed away. At just 16 months old, I didn't have him very long at all, but it feels I've had him my entire life and I should have him the rest of my life. I'm feeling pretty numb today and that's better than the feeling I normally have since he passed. I still find it too painful to go over the events of the day I lost him. Maybe I am still in denial. I find myself sitting in the chair and I tell myself if I think harder enough about him walking around the corner then he will. I set myself up for such a disappoint and heartbreak. Heartbroken is the only way to describe my life now. I have my 4 year old daughter, Madilynn, that depends on me everyday. I feel I will never be as good of a parent as I used to be. How am I surviving? Every morning I look forward to the day by thinking "This may be the day God comes and takes me to home to see my sweet Landyn!" I am so lost.

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Comment by Martin Connors on March 30, 2012 at 2:36am

Amber, there are no words any one can offer to bring you comfort.  The pain is still fresh.  My Tim was taken from me 10 months ago.  I did as you did.  I would go to the front door expecting him to come walking down the street from school - so proud to be in high school.  But he doesn't.  Join us with our group.  You will find you are very normal and very hurt.  You will smile again one day...When no one knows and no one can tell you when.  All I can say is trust me.


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