Tom and I had been married 2 months and 9 days short of 25 years when he was suddenly taken from us. We have actually been together for 27 1/2 years. We started dating in high school. He was a junior, I was a senior and yes, I robbed the cradle by 3 months and 29 days (I would never give him the satisfaction of saying 4 months). He used to tease me all the time that I was a whole year older because my birthday was the year before his. Of course, the early years were a little tough just trying to get our bearings...getting married at 19, living together and starting a family but, we got it all together and when we did nothing could stop us. We are a forever couple. Problem is we thought our forever was going to last a lot longer.
Through the years we had a closeness that just kept growing. I was always so proud of our relationship and even our kids were proud to say that their parents were still married when so many of their friends parents were not.
We have 3 great kids..Autumn, 24...Amanda, 22 and Nicholas, 13. They miss dad so much. Even though the girls are out on their own I still worry about how they are doing and coping. Nicholas, I worry about everyday. He is at an age where dad is so important and there are still so many things that dad had yet to teach him.
I was very spoiled; there wasn't anything that he would not do for me. He just took care of me and us. I am so grateful for the love we shared. He always made me feel special and loved. He was my big security blanket. He would surprise me and say how about going away this weekend. And of course, I would love to go anywhere with him. I was always so proud to be by his side. He worked for the railroad so, he would come and go quite a bit and I always got those butterflies when he would get home...just like in high school.
When it came time for the funeral no one could understand why I didn't have to put anything in the casket with him. I didn't feel the need to write a letter as everyone thought I should. There was nothing ever left unsaid between the two of us so, I had no need to hurry up and finish or complete something that wasn't done between us. There were never any regrets. I did come across our wedding vows and put them in with Tom and of course, pictures of our family. But, other than that we had said and done everything that needed to be said and done. We were complete!
As perfect as our life together was or maybe because our life was so perfect together it hurts soooo much to be apart. Never did we ever expect anything to tear our family apart. His grandfathers lived well into their 90's so we always teased him he had the gene's to make it to 100. I had no doubt he'd do it...he was a determined man who would accomplish whatever he set his mind to. I thought we'd make it to our 75th wedding anniversary so we could be on the Smucker's jar with Willard Scott...ok, maybe no Willard by then but, we'd still make it.
I have a hard time imagining what is to come. Everything we ever dreamed of was us as a couple. He couldn't wait to retire so we could come and go as we pleased and do everything possible. Now there is so much sadness and loneliness. I can't seem to break free from the heaviness in my chest...the dread of waking up every morning to my new reality. I can't imagine never seeing his face again, hearing his voice and those big Bunzy bear hugs are all gone.
I hang on tight to the love we shared and the family we created. I am blessed to have had a once in a lifetime love. I know not everyone gets to live the life I treasured so much. I am grateful to have had my Bunzy, my Love for more than half of my life. And as hard as it is to imagine, my fairytale life has come to an end...no more happily ever after.