i dont know what to do?

Well my little brother passed away on 03-07-09 at the age of 15 from cancer. I called him on Thursday an asked how he was doing he told me he was getting ready for a doctors appointment i said ok call when you get home he said okay. A few hours later my mom called an was crying an said that he was in the hospital an in a comma an needed to come home fast. My husbands parents paid for my plane ticket an i got there Friday spent 5 hrs with him an then went to my sisters. got up Saturday morning an left for the hospital. They said we couldn't see him cause they needed to change him so my sister, her dad, an i went an smoked a cigarette. As my sister an i came back into the hospital we heard over the loud speaker that everyone need to come back to his room ASAP we ran got her dad an went up. My grandmother had stopped me outside the room an said "He is done breathing". I hit the floor crying... My grandmother ask me to go in an i did. The nurse said his heart is still beating so my mother crawled in bed with him an held him for his last heart beats.. i kissed him an told him i loved him an the whole time i felt someones hand on my back but no one was buy me. I believe he was telling me it was okay.. Well every time i wanna cry about it i just stop an suck it up... I have 3 very little kids 4, 2, 10months. My 4yr old knows what happen an knows we can not see him for a while. She will climb on my lap an cry an say she misses him.. An still i suck it up an say its okay i know. I'm only 21 an the last time i lost someone really close to me was when i was 4yrs old. i guess i don't know how to grieve.. some one please help me?

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Comment by Cheryl on September 20, 2009 at 9:39am: Crystal, Im so sorry to hear of your loss. I can't even imagine the pain that you must be feeling at this time. The death of a sibling is very devastating. The hard part about death is the thought of never again being able to talk to, laugh with, or hold your loved one, and that can be most difficult to bear. No doudt you and your family at this time need endurance and comfort. You may even find that it is especially difficult for you each year about the time that your brother died.
During times like these, many, myself included, have been comforted in knowing of the resurrection our Heavenly Father has promised through the merit of Jesus' ransom sacrifice. The same way Jeus resurrected his dear friend, Lazarus, he will also do for your brother. (John 11:11-44) Can you imagaine the joy of Lazarus family and friends after seeing him alive again? Then you have an idea of the surpassing joy that will be ours when "all those in the memorial tombs will hear Jesus voice and come out" in the resurrection according to John 5:28,29.
So not only do we have the hope of seeing our dead loved ones again, but it will be here on earth, that they will be raised. God promises according to Psalms 37:9-11,29 and Revelation 21:4 that the earth will be made into a paradise, and we will have the prospect of enjoying life without end, free from all sickness, disease and tragedy. It will be into such a cleansed earth that Jehovah God through Jesus Christ will resurrect the millions who have died.
Reading these scriptures and knowing that my loved ones are simply resting awaiting a resurrection, has given me great comfort.If your heart yearns to see your brother again, and would like to learn how you can make this sure hope your very own, Jehovah's Witnesses will gladly assist you to learn more.