My mother died on September 12, 2009. I was with her everyday for the past 6 months when it all started with outpatient surgery... up to the second she took her last breath. Before she started sleeping nonstop, we held hands and just stared at each other. I slept by her side holding her hand. I saved her life 3 times over Doctor oversight, but she could no longer keep on fighting. At the end she was so tired, and asked that I let her go. I finally told her I would be OK, and she could go. She died 2 days later. I'm haunted by her last days and hours. I feel numb and still in shock. I find myself talking to her wherever I go as if she can really hear. I just can't bear that she's not alive any longer...not where I can just pick up the phone and share daily stuff with her...so I pretend she's with me and talk to her. This is all so unreal. I've never known a day in my life when she wasn't in my world. I miss her so.
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