The picture with me is my beautiful grandaughter Skylie, she would of been 1 on January 15th. Skylie was in my bedroom taking a nap before her mom took her to pick up my son from work. Skylie had flu-like symptoms for 2 weeks prior. When her mom went upstairs to get her she started screaming, I saw her coming down stairs carrying her like a rag-doll, I laid her on the floor and tried doing CPR which I now call Mom Mom kisses. I couldn't find a pulse, 911 arrived, they worked on her and finally they took her out. I saw them bringing her out of the ambulance still working on her. The next day they did an autopsy and found she had a tumor on the stem of her brain which was bleeding. I don't even know how I am functioning. I can't seem to push to do anything, I know someday with time it will get a little bit easier.

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Comment by Kalyn on August 8, 2010 at 8:55am
I am so so very sorry....a grandparents pain is two fold. We grieve so much for our children and their loss, helpless to do anything for them, but we also have our own grief to deal with. So many times not feeling like we can take time out for our own because we need to take care of our children. Reading your story took me back to losing our sweet Addison. She also passed away at home, only at her other grandmothers house. She slipped away in her sleep also, nothing was wrong with her. I can't imagine either of your pain. I do know, like Addison's other grandmother, you are not to blame. Please know that you will be in my prayers and so will your family.
Comment by Kalyn on August 8, 2010 at 8:55am
I am so so very sorry....a grandparents pain is two fold. We grieve so much for our children and their loss, helpless to do anything for them, but we also have our own grief to deal with. So many times not feeling like we can take time out for our own because we need to take care of our children. Reading your story took me back to losing our sweet Addison. She also passed away at home, only at her other grandmothers house. She slipped away in her sleep also, nothing was wrong with her. I can't imagine either of your pain. I do know, like Addison's other grandmother, you are not to blame. Please know that you will be in my prayers and so will your family.
Comment by Maureen on June 23, 2010 at 1:48pm
Teresa, I am so sorry about the loss of your granddaughter. I just lost my granddaughter 10 days ago in a car accident. I also feel like I am ready, God can take me at anytime, I am not afraid of death anymore and in fact, I would welcome it so I could be with my beautiful Britney. I can't believe I can get up every morning and go to work and still eat. But my body keeps moving like it knows it's supposed to. I'm on auto-pilot, my brain is functioning but my heart is not. I feel guilty that I am still moving about and people are still living their lives and still laughing while my beautiful Britney is in the ground. Saturday night I had a real blow-out, I was hysterical and told my husband I didn't want to be here anymore that I wanted to be with Britney. I was laying on top of her clothes and told him I wanted to be right there where I could feel the love. Poor man, he was beside himself, he didn't know how to console me. I asked for God to give me a heart attack, I really scared myself because at that particular time, I really meant what I said. Afterwards, when I calmed down and had taken a Xanax, I realized that I didn't want to die and it was just my grief. But I have already had a "sign" from my granddaughter and that made me feel a lot better.
Comment by Teresa on January 3, 2010 at 12:13pm
Cindy, I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. We just wake up each day and go thru the motions. I said today I feel like selling my house and moving elsewhere. I have many friends that I have had for many years. There are times I want to talk and times I don't. I am starting therapy Thursday, I was never one to shares my problems but I am hoping this will help. There is a lot more going on here. I can't write for all to see.
Comment by CINDY ANDERSON on January 2, 2010 at 9:05pm
Dear Teresa, I am so sorry to read of the loss of your beautiful granddaughter. You need to be gentle with yourself right now. I hope you have some support system in place with friends and family around you. Since coming to this site I have felt a really wonderful feeling of support. I lost my son Michael on August 2nd, 2008, he died suddenly after being ill for about a week. He went to the ER but he had a seizure and a massive heart attack and died. We found out he had a blood disease and had been very ill. But he never wanted to go to the doctor. I saw him 3 days before he died and he looked like he had the flu. But 3 days later when I walked in that ER and saw him I knew he was really sick. His blood counts were so low. They were giving him tranfusions and were getting ready to do a platlete transfusion when he suffered the seizure and heart attack. They worked on him for over 1 1/2 hrs to try and bring him back. But he didn't make it. Nothing in our lives is the same. I have grandchildren, I can feel your pain. Know that I am sending prayers and hugs to you and your family. If you need to cry and vent please come to this site. Everyone has been so wonderful. I was in such a dark place last week, this site saved me and helped me to not want to end my life anymore. God Bless, Cindy

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