I went to the Dr. the other day just to find out if I was crazy or not. Sometimes I feel just even and in about a half second I can be down in the dumps. The lowest of the low. Never in my life have I ever been so low. I thought I was loosing my mind. Sometimes I found it hard to take another step or say another word it was just to hard. I don't understand all this sadness. I would love to hear his voice or see him in a dream but I know it wouldn't be enough just the one time. How am I going to live the rest of my life without ever seeing him or hearing him again. I just don't get it. How can this be? I know it is the way it is. Nothing ever came easy for my family I was a single mother for years I was divorced in 91 and raised the 3 kids by my self but that was my choice. I don't regret it I love my kids and wanted only the best for them seems like God would have let this pass by me. Lately it has been so tuff going on without him. But I have to. I wasn't given a choice in the matter I would have gladely traded places with him. I hate me for living.