I woke up with a huge hole in my heart this morning. I think I had a dream about Laura last night...but I can't tell if it actually happened or if I wanted it to have happened. It doesn't much matter because in the end it made me miss her again and it was all I could do to get out of bed and start the day.
I muddled through our morning routine...feeling that empty space all the while. I hated it. I wasn't the best dad either. I hated that too.
After the kids left for school the house was empty and quiet. It wasn't the comfortable escape kind of quiet...but the lonely kind. The kind that screams, "You're alone!" The hole was bigger...and I felt like hell.