I thought as time went by it was suppose to get easier. Why is that it seems so much harder? I was cleaning around the house and came across the burp cloth my mom made for her future grandchild. (I'm not pregnant she just wanted the kids to have something from her). I about had a panic attack. It hit me like a boulder that I will never again see my mom. I will never hear her voice. I will never get a hug or crazy text from her. I had to take triple my dose of lorazapam just to be ok. I slept all day Saturday. I mean literally all day. I got up at noon, watched a movie with my husband and fell asleep until 9pm. I just don't see the point in anything anymore. I feel so lost and alone. She was what held our little family together.