It was December 2nd, 2009, I saw Kelly at 1.00pm that afternoon and then I had to hurry to work. She seemed a little distressed about personal issues going on between her husband and their life. Her husband was an abuser, mentally and physically. He pyschologically damaged her for the last 11 years and made her the person she was, scared, she had anxiety prolems and was afraid of her husband. In my eyes she was the most beautiful, stunning girl with the greatest heart in the world always caring about others. She never thought she could have a baby and then by God's grace she was pregnant and had a perfect baby boy named Cole. the happiest baby I had seen.
That day was the worst day of my LIFE. The call came while I was at work to go to my daughters house. I was kind of irritated thinking " Oh here we go again, they are fighting, they are always fighting " but my supervisor was insistant that I go. I tried to call Kelly but there was no answer, I tried to call Kellys sister Jacalyn but there was no answer, I didn't know what to think. So I am driving to Kellys house and I think to call her Dad, my ex. and see if he knows what is going on. He answered right away and I said what is the problem at Kellys. The news I was about to receive was the worst news ever. Kelly was dead at 27, leaving behind a beautiful baby boy at 6 months. She shot herself in the head with a gun her husband had purchased for her for protection. They had had an argument, he called the cops and she was dead. I think I screamed the rest of the way to her house. I am surprised I made it in one piece. I had never felt so stunned in all my life. I was in deep shock. I called her brother, and Jacalyn and my husband Vernon and they came along with my best friend Tracy. She looked like she was sleeping, at peace.
There was no suicide note , I know she didn't mean to do it. She had already bought presents for us for Christmas and a ton for the baby. She was a 100% not ready to die.
My life will never be the same again, I never realised how much she meant to me, I think about her every day, some days I hurt so bad, some days I cry and nobody knows my pain, some days I am full of anger, and I am mad at the everyone and I snap at my husband and Jacalyn. But the pain is not getting better, it gets worst. Losing your child is the worst pain of a lifetime, you will never forget, especially birthdays and holidays. Life is the pits, what do we have to live for when we lose a child, not much, in my case I am recently remarried so that is good. No one unless you have lost a child knows what the pain is like. It is forever........ I love my daughter and I miss her terribly. Life goes on unfortunately and I just have to make the most of it............