Lost In Sorrow

Hi, to everyone. I have been reading about all of you, and I am so sorry for you loss! You see I can relate to each and everyone of you, because it happened to me on March 1, 2010. We received the dreaded knock on the door by serveral officers. I asked the sheriff to please find my son that day, because I had a horrible feeling. When they came to my door, I asked if they had found my son, they said they had, but I could tell by the look on their faces, it was not good. I would not let them tell me, and ran to get my husband. Even then, I thought they were going to say that he had been in a wreck, and that he was in the hospital. Never wanted to hear that he was dead. I could not even listen or hear anything they had to say, I just kept begging God to bring him back, that there was a mistake, he was not supose to die. My husband and I as well as many others were devastated, to say the least. My other son got on the first plane out and came to our side, (he lives 9 hours away). It was a horrible reunion, we just held each other and cried in disbelief. Family and friends helped alot. Don't actually remember the grave parting, I guess it was just too painful. So, for Easter it was like the first time. I cried the whole way to the site, kept on saying I can't believe he is here! My husband and I went through a couple of days of anger, but we learned that we need to be there for each other. Then I guess you could say I was in shock, I call it a fog. My husband did not want to get out of bed, I felt like I had to be there for my other son, I had to be strong, because when I cried he cried and my husband fell apart. The only place I go to is church, I have only been to the cemetery twice. I can't sleep at night and do not want to take anything, because it causes me to have bad dreams. When I wake up in the morning I really don't want to wake up. We miss him so much, I feel like my heart is going to explode because it hurts so bad! If it were not for church and lots of praying and being prayed for I know that we would not survive. We still can't believe that he is gone, we keep thinking that he is away at school and will be coming back home. Reality is setting in, the phone rings all the time, but it is not him. You see even though he was 30 years old, he was my baby, he will always be my baby. That is why I am lost in sorrow. Cheryl

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Comment by Melinda Ellen Guinn on June 1, 2011 at 1:29am: Candace turned 30 on 2/11/10. On 4/09/10 the police called and coldly informed me that, "Candace Watson is dead". I cannot believe the coldness of that ass! Who trained that unsympathetic, unfeeling ass! She's my only child. She left a husband and 3 daughters, ages 8, 7 and 2. AND ME!!

Comment by JoAnn Brozowski on April 5, 2011 at 8:25am: Dear Jackie - my son was seeing a therapist for just about one year. He was found inhaling duster in his car. I made him go to outpatient rehab (3xweek) and made him tell his therapist. She said and did nothing. After he passed away I went to her and she admitted that she had no idea what that was until he passed - THEN she looked it up. The rehab facility was supposed to have a one-on-one meeting weekly. He went there for two weeks of rehab (6 sessions) and never saw a counselor face-to-face. By the way - rehab is still billing me for the last copay! No one who was seeing him stepped in to help. If they had then MAYBE, JUST MAYBE this could have been averted.

Comment by JoAnn Brozowski on April 5, 2011 at 8:25am: Dear Jackie - my son was seeing a therapist for just about one year. He was found inhaling duster in his car. I made him go to outpatient rehab (3xweek) and made him tell his therapist. She said and did nothing. After he passed away I went to her and she admitted that she had no idea what that was until he passed - THEN she looked it up. The rehab facility was supposed to have a one-on-one meeting weekly. He went there for two weeks of rehab (6 sessions) and never saw a counselor face-to-face. By the way - rehab is still billing me for the last copay! No one who was seeing him stepped in to help. If they had then MAYBE, JUST MAYBE this could have been averted.

Comment by Jackie Jones on April 4, 2011 at 5:33pm: my son was also in rehab that was court ordered. he was on probation for a DUII involving prescription pills. he had to UA's every week. i was naive to think that they were testing for everything like they tell you they are. If they were testing for everything like they say then they would known that he was taking methadone. He had a prescription for his Klonipin. i plan on writing a complaint regarding the psychiatrist, psychologist and the rehab counselor that were in charge of my sons care. He was an outpatient at their facility he saw their psychiatrist and psychologist and gave him narcotics for anxiety even though he was in rehab trying to get clean. they missed the boat on trying to help my son get clean. i know he made the choice to take the deadly combination of meds but i feel the professionals let me down. at the juvenile department at the rehab center. i also plan on writing a letter to the judge and her know how i feel. i am trying to spread the word about the dangers of methadone and prescription drugs for our young people.

Comment by Jackie Jones on April 4, 2011 at 5:33pm: my son was also in rehab that was court ordered. he was on probation for a DUII involving prescription pills. he had to UA's every week. i was naive to think that they were testing for everything like they tell you they are. If they were testing for everything like they say then they would known that he was taking methadone. He had a prescription for his Klonipin. i plan on writing a complaint regarding the psychiatrist, psychologist and the rehab counselor that were in charge of my sons care. He was an outpatient at their facility he saw their psychiatrist and psychologist and gave him narcotics for anxiety even though he was in rehab trying to get clean. they missed the boat on trying to help my son get clean. i know he made the choice to take the deadly combination of meds but i feel the professionals let me down. at the juvenile department at the rehab center. i also plan on writing a letter to the judge and her know how i feel. i am trying to spread the word about the dangers of methadone and prescription drugs for our young people.

Comment by Lauree Lage on February 26, 2011 at 3:50am: Hi Cheryl, I just wanted to see how you've been doing. You're two months ahead of me in this process. I still feel like I'm on a roller coaster with many hard days. I know that no matter how much I wish, throw a fit, beg, barter, etc he's not going to come back. The reality of this situation sucks! I sleep with his baby blanket and pray for a visit or dream. Have you gotten any dreams?

Comment by JoAnn Brozowski on November 12, 2010 at 2:20pm: Hi Cheryl - I lost my 24 year old son, my only child, to an overdose in January of this year. He had been using inhalants for 3 weeks. That was the only drug use he had ever taken part in. I feel like my heart is ripped into shreds. I wake up every day and realize that I have to live the same thing over and over. I honestly don't know why I should go on - what possible reason is there for it? I'm devastated and angry and hurting all the time. Keep in touch - we are all in the same boat.

Comment by Lauree Lage on October 21, 2010 at 12:40am: Hi Cheryl. I also lost my son to a drug overdose. I was not with him when it happened. I can relate to what you are feeling. How long was he doing drugs?

Comment by Ronda Johnston on October 3, 2010 at 10:16pm: Hi its me again, I'm not sure why when I add my comment it places 2 of them instead on just 1... bye. Ronda

Comment by Ronda Johnston on October 3, 2010 at 10:14pm: Hello Cheryl, My name is Ronda and I just read your blog about your son, I am truly sorry for your loss, I also have lost a son.... Sean my first born my only son, he was 25 and also passed the same way as your son, Sean was getting clean and was clean for about almost 2 months and some guy that got my son started in this mess came & he wanted to get high he supplied the pills to my son & they were at this guys house & my son died there that day on June 14th 2010 that was the worst day of my entire life, My husband & Daughter & I haven't been the same since....I know what u were talking about when u called this girl the devil, I also called that supposedly friend of my son's a devil too!!! He's the one who introduced my son with all sorts of pills... I miss Sean so much I'm so heart broken, this pain is so horrendous, I know what you & your family are going through because we are going through the same kind of loss. I wanted to write you & see how you & your family were doing? please if you read this I would like to hear from you, k?? Hugs to u all . Ronda