Well, Amy, spring is here already and I need to start to work on the garden I planted in the yard for you last year. Time has healed a bit, but it is going to be a long long time for me to get to a new level of, I dont know, life I guess as they say, without you. I still cry at least once daily in one way or the other. There is alway something that reminds me of you. I will laugh about something we did together and then think, how sad it is that you are not here to make new memories. Everyone says this and that about how things should be or could be but it doesnt change the way I feel. Dad is still working long hours, keeping busy. We still get into our arguments. I just wish things were better but deep down I know they will not ever be the way lifes plans were to be from the day your born. You got thru a lot of hurdles, or things we all do, and we are grateful for that, but it still sucks bad. I think of all of it, from kindergarden, highschool, college and your job that was paying so good. I think of the car you would have gotten, the apartment, the clothes and the vacations you would have enjoyed like the ones you took each summer as you grew up with your classmates. I see them doing the stuff you would have done wit them, concerts, marriage, babies, etc and it hurts to know it wont be for us to watch you enjoy any of that. We love your brothers child, Cecelia so much and she makes us happy, but boy, does she look like you and that also brings back memories. So now we will teach her some of the things we taught you. We still dont have the answers to what really happened that night, maybe we never will, and I do think you had a part in it and I need to somehow forgive you for letting it happen. til we meet again, that will haunt me. Well, I will finish for now.
We love you and miss you so much. I know you are in good hands and hope you are with family that love you too. I also, think, you probably have made new friends. I also, hope you are with the 4 other claslmates that passed before and after you.
love mom and dad
ps. this will be the second mother's day and birthday without.