I think this site has reached the point where it's doing more harm than good for me. Up until today it has been helpful in various ways to read the posts of others, and see how others are coping. Maybe occasionally contribute something helpful.
Today I realized that it's possible for me to actually get angry when reading and replying to posts here, which means that it's time to leave. With all the cr*p that's going on in my life, in dealing with Dan's loss, I don't need to read posts saying that because I'm not mired in deep depression and wailing about how every day is so miserable, I must not have loved my husband as much as someone else loved hers.
I am working very hard to rebuild my life, to turn it into something that I can actually deal with waking up to every morning. Trying to find new meaning and new purpose and yes, some happiness. Will it be the same as it would have been with Dan? No. Of course not. But I have to believe that I can be happy again, and I have to try to reach that point. Otherwise I may as well just put a bullet in my brain and be done with it, because I'm not enough of a masochist to want to spend the next 40+ years of my life in misery.