THIS IS THE FIRST BIRTHDAY AFTER I HAVE LOST MY PRECIOUS SON, DUSTY. HE WOULD HAVE BEEN 26. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME IDEAS ON HOW I CAN HONOR HIM ON HIS BIRTHDAY. THANKS TO ALL.
VALERIE MOORE

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Comment by valerie moore on March 13, 2011 at 6:54pm

hi shari,  i do a balloon release every month on his anniv date, 28 of every month.  he was born on june 28,1984 aND passed on aug 28,2009   worst year ,month and date in my forever life.

i also light candles off and on/  if i am really missing him, then i light a candle/  thank your for all your warm and sweet message.  love, valerie

ps. your son, is so handsome.

Comment by Shari Soklow on March 12, 2011 at 7:33pm

Dear Valerie,

As I have also lost a precious son, may I suggest writing little messages and placing them inside of balloons, to be released at either the cemetary or in front of the church or somewhere where

there is beautiful scenery! The messages would be for your Beloved Son except for one which would be for God! Then to honor his memory you might consider spending the rest of the day being very good to yourself! Maybe have a nice meal out so you don't have to cook, or a movie, or just buy yourself some little gift. Something to make your heart smile!

Have one of your sons favorite foods and say as you are eating, this is for you son!

My son loved Tacos so I went and had some and as I was eating them I said This is for you son!

 

All my good wishes,

Shari

 

Comment by Shari Soklow on March 12, 2011 at 6:29pm

My Dear Precious New Friends,

This message is for all of you...first I send you all my love and prayers because now we are all a family! That's right, we are a family of bereaved and that makes us one powerful family! We are all in the same boat, so to speak, and the sea is rough and turbulent and I'm sure every single one of us at one time or another just wants to scream! WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY GOD WHY!

There is no answer that would ever make sense to me, not on this earth plain!

I have lost my mother, my father, my Auntie, (she was a second mother to me) my husband and now my son! I have also lost two wonderful girlfriends who were more like the sisters I never had. Even my precious dogs were a big loss to me. I went through seven and I still have one who is almost twenty years old! I tell you good people, if you ask me about life,I get confused, but if you ask me about death, I am an expert!

My beloved husband passed 8-6-07 and now my only child, my beloved son

passed on 12-28-10. I am numb from all of it, I am really just numb! It is as if my mind is protecting me so I don't go insane! That is how bad I feel. I can't go to pieces because it won't help anything and it certainly will Not bring my son back! When I lost my mother and I was only fifteen years old I did go to pieces and to this day I haven't really got over that first loss, not to mention all that came after! It is only human nature to feel like the saying goes;

"Misery likes Company!" Of course we would not wish this misery on any one, we all know that,

but since we are all in the same boat, it is comforting to know that we are not alone!

I, for one, am deeply grateful for this group and all your kind comments and I just want you all to know that. God Bless Us All!

 

Shari

Comment by valerie moore on September 14, 2010 at 8:53am
jacqueline, dustys birthday was terribly difficult. i always made a big deal on his birthdays, others too. i bought a little cake with his name and butterflys on it. i lit a candle and said a prayer. i cried most of the day, do what you feel up to.. even if its staying in bed. dont push yourself- i just passed the 1 yr anniv and i am just not doing well. it feels like my life is forever destroyed. i know i have a long time to go before i feel like i will ever smile, want to live and move on. hugs, val
Comment by Jacqueline T Anemone on September 7, 2010 at 7:29pm
My daughter Danielle, who would have been 32 this Oct 19. Passed away of brain cancer Mar 15, 2010. Everytime I think of her birthday coming I start to shake, the adrenaline starts pumping harder then usual and I end up having to take a half of zanax. I have 3 other adult children but none of them can take her place. Every year on their birthdays where ever they are I have called them up and told them about the day they were born, It's a tradition now. I don't know what to do on Danielle's birthday. I will probably take zanax and sleep all day.
Comment by cynthia Thurman on September 1, 2010 at 7:59am
Valerie,
I noticed your son just had a Birthday , WHAT DAY!
we all do the Birthday in a different way, some as I do don't even want to get out of BED that day,All day I write in my Journal of about my Daughter's life, of 35 years and how she was in school and what she did thru the years and on and on, Writing to me is good for the mind!!!
I do the same for my 2 GRANDSON'S , I also write about them, In the Journal I talk about that day being their Birthday, talk about the day they came home from the hospital, until the last day they were playing in the yard!!!
It's non-stop of writing, Then I have a Husband that I also need to put in the Journal that Died!

I talk about what life was alike with the 2 of us, then here comes the daughter, and so on
Dates are very important in my writing!
I date everything that I write about!
My 2nd daughter, that is still out here that had a brain tumor in 1998 and went blind and deaf on the left side of her face, but can still gets around pretty good by herself, the one Grandson was her little boy, He was getting ready to be 8 years old Nov 22, 2002 but he never made it, He die Nov 4th 2002 with my other Grandson that just turned 18 years old, LIL BO JUST TURNED 18 YEARS OLD OCT 6TH 2002.

Tina, the mom still goes to the store and buy's her son ASHTON a BIRTHDAY CARD put's her own verse in it, and hangs it on his wall she had made up herself!
and buy's him still a little CAKE and she put balloons with a little note and lets them head for the SKY!!!!!!!!!

We all do it OUR-WAY
I don't like to go to my daughters house, too many memories for me!
She has ASHTON"s picture and Birthday cards from 8 years , he has been gone!
It's just so HEART BREAKING!!!
It's a all day CRY DAY for me!
coping with this shock of our life that will last our life-time, we just have to figure what will work for our mine, we all do it different!

I hope everything will work out !
I talk so much, the mine never shuts down.
I wake-up with this each day as we all do, and I we have to force ourself to get up each day
There will never be what we use to call a normal day!
It won't happen in my life,
People say you sound so angry, Well YELL, I'am still angry of the life I ended up with , with my To me how can their ever be a closure when you have buried you child!!
There can't me, It's now been 8 years for my family and there is still grandchildren left that are 8 years older and they all or in therphy!!! That crys on their Birthday because their mom is not around for their Birthday!!!
It's Mess-up!
It just wasn'ts me that is going thru the tough time, It' has effected everyone in this family!
There was an old saying, something this so devasted will make you stronger or it will kill you!
One thing I won't do is listen to some-one tell they know how I feel, if they haven't been in our shoes!!
Even a Doctor!
It's hard for anyone to give me advise when they have never buried their child, You can't find what we feel in a BOOK!!!!!!!!!!! not unless this BOOK has been written from someone that has lived our life,
See, I never shut-up
But I will close this note and you have a nice day!!
Cynthia
Comment by Ronda Johnston on September 1, 2010 at 1:39am
Hello Valerie, My name is Ronda Johnston & I also lost my son Sean age 25.. Im so deeply heartbroken, I think about him all day & all nite long & everyday!!!! He pasted june 14, 2010 just a few months ago. I just wanted to give u my condolences on your son Dusty, Im very sorry. please if you ever want to write to me please feel free, Im a good listener..hope to hear from you soon. So Heartbroken Ronda
Comment by Sharon Eickenroth Mitchell on July 22, 2010 at 6:48pm
Dear Valerie....i was stopped short when I saw Dustins Birth date, This is my Nickolas's birthdate too. He would have been 22 June 2, 2010. He died 5 years ago. August 10, 2005. We share a beautiful day together...I ache to hold him again...to hear his voice,to see his smile. We also share this trail of tears...forever it shall be till we meet them again. Livestrong was Nickolas's motto...I am trying but there lots of days where I weep as I did 5 years ago when I first got the call... "Nickolas is gone"..."gone where" I say. . Get easier as time goes by??? I don't know, there hasn't been enough time yet. We have in the past had balloon sends on Nickolas's anniversary date. This past B-day I spent time at the cemetary by myself...thats not all bad cuz I can cry with abandon....I still do not have a marker on Nickolas's gravesite....I haven't wanted to set it in stone. This year is the year for that to be, 5 years...remember we are all unique and we don't all do things in the same order...thats okay too...whatever it take to get through the day, the hour, the minute. Nickolas changed my life when He came into it...my life again has changed now that he has left terra firm. Some of thoes closest to me say I am better now...but some days I just know that I have grown used to carrying this cloak of heartache...maybe I am stronger in ways, but don't think I am "better" how can i be without my sweet son? Write if you like, I would cherish hearing from you. Sharon...Nickolas's mom.
Comment by Ann on June 15, 2010 at 12:58pm
Dear Valerie,
I think we have read each other's blogs in the past. It has been a while since i have had time to get on the site.
I noticed that your son Dusty and my son Michael share the same birthday. Michael died on Nov. 29,2009 at the age of 21 and my life has been miserable since. Almost everything reminds me of him even though it has been more than 6 months now. I plan to do a balloon release at the cemetery where Michael is buried for his birthday. I have invited his close friends and have posted the event on Facebook and Myspace. His grave marker is on order, it has taken a ling tome to get it just right, and I think we might have a dedication and tree planting when it gets installed. I will be thinking of you and Dusty as we do this birthday tribute on Michael's would be 22nd birthday and on Dusty's 26th.
Love and hugs,
Ann

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