Hey y'all, l am new to this group.l really do not know what to do so l will begin with my loss. My husband, Leonard, passed away on March 29,2020. I knew he was getting weaker, you see he has had hea…

Hey y'all, l am new to this group.l really do not know what to do so l will begin with my loss. My husband, Leonard, passed away on March 29,2020. I knew he was getting weaker, you see he has had heart disease ,diabetes and was having trouble with his back . l knew that probably he would die before me. I was not prepared on that Sunday morning he would die.I fell apart. With the Covid 19, we didn't have the support we needed. My sons fell apart. We could only have a graveside service.  Since then l have a very hard time. My heart  hurts so bad l feel like I'm having a heart attack.  I can't make decisions or focus. I cry for no reason..  I don't know how  to start a new life without my husband. I need help.

Cheryl Hart

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Comment by Charles E. Nelson on July 18, 2020 at 1:13am

Hello Cheryl,

I am so sorry for your loss of your husband that has brought you here to this site. I found this safe place to seek comfort and share my feelings in 2015 and it honestly is the only reason I am now living my life and coping with my grief. Having had to face this terrible loss while in this awful pandemic is something I can hardly imagine. I do remember how the first months and seasons were for me without my Larry, and the feelings you describe are identical to my feelings then. One of the things I learned by posting in the group Bereaved Spouses and reading everybody's replies is that our collective experiences as we grieve our lost spouses are very similar, and this helped my accept that I wasn't losing my mind or having a breakdown, but was going through a sad and painful process that would take time and help to navigate. That is what this safe place is all about - being able to offer, ask for, and accept help from each other without fear of being judged. If you wish to join the Bereaved Spouses group then when you post a comment all other members will see it and can reply if desired. I had trouble learning the process at first because I am not very familiar with computers or social media groups, etc. I have since then learned much, but what I hope you find here is the same comfortable and comforting place that has helped me so very much through the nightmare I found myself facing. Everyone understands, and there is much compassion and support for you. 

I wish you and your sons peace this weekend, and hope you will be patient with yourself and allow yourself to express your feelings freely here should you wish to do so.

With love, Chuck

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