I found myself on New Years Eve excited about going out with some friends for the first time in years. My drive was about 30 minutes and within 3 minutes of getting into my car I started crying. Out of the blue, I have no idea what triggered it all other than grief.
You know, sometimes it just hits you like you hit a wall. BAM! Really?
I cried for 27 minutes. Then, I became angry. I have been battling grief, sadness, depression and now...anger.
I read a couple of posts from the board on NYE and saw that there are other siblings missing their brothers and sisters as much as I. One stated it had been 30 days sincer her sister passed, another it had been 30 years sincer her brother passed.
I take from this that no matter what the timeframe, no matter what the circumstances, no matter the heartache, depression or anger...our losses are real.
For today...I am learning to cope and be ok with having a life, even though it is without one of my dearest friends.
I miss you Scott. I miss your laugh and your smile. I miss the frustrating times and I miss the times I didnt pick up the phone or come by. I could have been a better sister, a better friend. Thanks for your forgiveness in the end and for your unconditional love.
You have been my angel of strength recently and I want you to know that I am forever grateful to be called Scott's sister.
Love ourselves, let others love us...unconditionally. For 30 days or 30 years.