this is how long its been since I have been able to speak with the man of my dreams. I cant help but wonder how I get any better when everything in my life good or bad was discussed with him. we never went a day in 16 years that we didn't speak and now every day and night I spend in tears. I almost wish he wasn't so great so I could have something to look back at and be angry with but he was a perfect human being. now going trough his thing and packing myself up to move out of state in 6 weeks seems so overwhelming and yet I cant talk to him about it. does any of this pain ever go away? or am i doomed for what little time I have left

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Comment by Arvin Bain on March 9, 2016 at 5:08pm

Hey Eric.  I'm not sure if there is a set blue print for human emotions and reactions to losing someone you love but I AM going through exactly what you've mentioned above.  Questions like, will this ever get better, will I ever be able to do things without his input, will I move pass the crying?  Yes, I even wanted to be angry with him-like in a bad breakup-but it's not what happened.  My partner was the only one for me and I loved him with every inch of my being.  I would give anything to talk to him, hold him and see him again.  But that's never going to happen.  I too feel doomed to feel this pain of loss over and over.  Since he left, I've been waking up every morning like waking up from a dream then realizing he IS gone and he will never come back.  If I don't cry, I pray my butt into the shower and hope the day won't be filled with a continuous barrage of memories that keep in this state.  I sympathize with you completely Eric.  My future seems bleak with uncertainties now because this guy I loved and spent everyday with for 10 years has 'moved' on and I'm left here alone in this life.  People say, you'll learn to love again but what the heck does that really mean?!  The answer in my head to that that is 'I don't want anyone else... I just want who I had.'  I was truly happy and in love and I'm not sure If I can get back that same feeling with anyone else.  What is your take?

Comment by Melinda CANDACE Guinn on December 5, 2015 at 2:19pm

No, but it isn't as overwhelming. Candace left 4/09/10. The pain is always here, 24/7. Holidays and special days make it tougher but sadly I will survive. She had just turned 30 yrs old. Her and husband were raising their three little girls 8, 7 and 2. I'll be with them at Christmas. The dad's parents are raising our babies. They're not babies anymore. They're 13, 12 and 7.

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