Death is the great equalizer. Be you rich or poor; savvy or naïve; any religion; or any race, there is not a family that goes untouched by death and the subsequent grief that follows.

After a death of a loved one, a person is usually vulnerable and, consequently, open to considering new thoughts
and ideas, as well as connecting with those he/she would not have previously come in contact. It is upon this great cross-section of new ideas, people, and opportunities that a foundation for a new life may be built.

I call it the “do-over.”

I believe after the loss of someone close, you may become braver
perhaps less fearful of the unknown. After all, something extremely bad happened, and you were able to withstand it.

Consider ….

~Maybe, you are stronger than you thought.
~Maybe,you can accomplish those things that you never believed you were able to before.
~Maybe, you don’t have to be afraid of what others will say or think about you.
~And just maybe, now that you are set free from life as you knew it, you can go on to create a different kind of life that will suit the "new you" to a tee!

If you are feeling stuck in your grief and don’t know how to move forward, reflect on the following poem.

Can’t ~ Don’t ~ Not Good Enough

Stuck inside a box
feeling restrained by other’s perceptions

Now ready to break free
Expand my wings and take flight
Bound no longer
Soaring high
Reaching for the sky

A mind unleashed with no boundaries
A spirit liberated to soar
Released from a cage with self imposed chains
I am ready to be me

It is not that you wanted it, but, nevertheless, you are the recipient of a chance for a "do-over." Your power lies in how you respond, so rather than bemoaning the fact that you have lost something, try believing that with every loss there are also great finds – and go grab every opportunity you can!

Ellen Gerst, a Life Coach who specializes in grief and relationships, is the author of several books on grief, including A Practical Guide To Widow/erhood, born out of Ellen's own experiences as a young widow; 101 Tips and Thoughts on Coping with Grief, an easy-to-read reference guide filled with suggestions for every day use on moving forward through the grief journey; and Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story. "Love After Loss" is a blueprint on how to use her successful method to redesign your life to include a new love connection after the loss of a partner. Join the conversation on Facebook for Love After Loss. Click for more information and to order grief related services and books.

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