The beginning of a new year is a good time to formulate a plan on how you want to move forward in your new life without your loved one.

I find when I listen to my own intuition, I am usually headed down the right road. One way to assure yourself it feels right is to check to see if your brain, heart, and gut are all in alignment. There shouldn’t be any little pings, nagging questions, or red flags waving in your face – only calmness and an inner knowing.

As a New Year’s resolution, may I suggest you make a decision to try to enjoy each day and do things that interest you, while sparking your mind to reach a higher level. Live in the present and allow your life to unfold in Technicolor before you. Project positive energy and watch it reflect right back at you.

This is not to say you won’t have occasional lapses and possibly more than a few pity-parties, but try to stay on a forward and positive looking path. This year, I invite all of you to take this giant leap forward on your journey.

Although my grief journey has been fraught with many sorrows, the joy and wonderment I found along the way made the burden of my husband’s death easier to bear.

I believe that there is an ultimate purpose for all that happens to an individual. Each person then has the option of following a path infused with negativity or one with a positive bent.

Young widows and widowers, especially, have a lot of life left to live, for they may have children to raise and lofty goals still to accomplish.

However, no matter at what age and why one becomes a griever, I believe that deep down inside all of us is a well of strength waiting to be tapped and the capability to deal with the circumstances one has been dealt.

As you continue on your grief journey, learning important lessons about the true meaning of life, let it be your gift to the world to share these messages with others.


Ellen Gerst, a Life Coach who specializes in grief and relationships, is the author of A Practical Guide to Widow/erhood. Born out of Ellen’s own experiences as a young widow, A Practical Guide provides suggestions to help a griever re-adjust each aspect of his/her life without his/her loved one. Her newest book, 101 Tips and Thoughts on Coping with Grief, is an easy-to-read reference guide for everyday suggestions for moving forward on the grief journey. Ellen has also written Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story,
a step-by-step guide on how to redesign your life to include a new love
connection after the loss of a mate due to death or divorce.

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