When I look back on my husband's life he was the crew chief of our family. He was our ROCK! He may have look rough and tough on the outside but he had the biggest heart anyone could ask for. He was my everything: husband, best friend. He ran his life like a race. He always knew where he was starting from and planned his race to the end. Of course he had to make his pit stops for his Ice tea and a smoke break but then he would get back in there and be there for his family and friends no matter what it cost him and he would do whatever it took to see it to the end.
I miss my husband so much that is it is getting harder and harder to think. Everyone keeps telling me it gets easier with time well it isn't. In fact it is getting harder and harder each day. I cry at the drop of a hat and I don't even know what caused it. Our limited amount of friends have stopped calling, distant family doesn't call as much but can't blame them. Who wants to be around someone who crys at a drop of a hat.
Things we used to do together just do not feel right. My husband and I and another couple used to fish in the evenings during the summer, I have tried to fish and it just doesn't feel right; the other couple have since broken up and moved on with their lives.
I know i am rambling but that is how my head is working these days. I can not concentrate on anything except how much I miss my best friend and husband.