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I too lost a spouse. My husband has been gone two years this past September, so I know that grief bubble you speak of. I'm so sorry you feel so stuck. Have you tried any local In Person grief support groups? I realize just how hard that would be to go thru the front door alone that first time, but I am pretty sure it would be worth checking out. I never went to any, but wish I had, had someone to suggest it, or lead me there. Maybe even a grief counselor or your Pastor? I saw my Dr for something to help with my nerves (this was my route - not the only one). She prescribed something just barely strong enough to keep me from crying all the time and I started, I hate to say "feeling better" but I guess I'd say, more like me again. I almost hate to say anything, I don't want to make you feel any worse than you do now. But felt a draw to reach out to you. Yesterday was my first day on this site. I can't really tell you "how" to come out of that bubble, I think everyone does that at their own pace. But, I can listen as do what appears to be hundreds of others on here.
We All grieve at our own pace and there is No Wrong way to grieve, nor is there a time limit on it. You are doing NOTHING wrong!
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