Anniversary of my son.May 25,1980-March 15,2013.

My son's anniversary is comming up.Oh how it hurts.I went to his house and felt his Spirit all over me.I dont believe in the dead comming back but I do believe in the Holy Spirit.Maybe My Lord almighty allowed me to feel my son.I miss him so much.I still cant believe you are gone.I feel like a zombie in this world.The shock of my life.What keeps me going is the love of my God.and my other son and my son's 2 kids.I love you Lil Joe and cant wait till I see you in Heaven.It is not my time yet so I have to wait.mom

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Comment by Vee Herrera Michrina on August 27, 2013 at 10:43pm

Dearest Aida, Oh honey, I am so sorry you lost your darling beloved son. I have children myself and also just lost my beloved of 11 years. I also was raised by a grieving mother (when I was 1, my 3 year old brother died in his sleep ) my mother never fully recovered...I always missed having my brother, Derec in my life. I too have a deep faith in the Lord and it is the only thing keeping me going. I also believe with all my heart, that its up to God when we go home and so we have to live with the loss and the grief. I also lost a cousin who was only 18 and i remember seeing my aunt wail for her son. I know it now at an even more intimate level: losing my life companion. I know what you mean by it seeming like a dream. I still havent accepted Barry is gone. Part of me refuses to, and If I ever fully realized it, I would run down the street screaming. Its very confusing. 
Its good that you have your other son and grand children--arent GRAND children wonderful???? I have 3 grand children too : ) (Ages: 3, 1, and 5 weeks old baby girl). It’s very comforting to know that they need us, and it gives us a greater person that no job, career, nor anything on earth can give us. 

We are called to be mothers and grandmothers... 

I heard of a analogy of our life is like a tapestry: God sees the top side and forming picture, and we see the messy threads on the bottom, but one day HE will restore all to us that has been lost. HE IS A GOD of restoration. We are so earthly minded, we just cannot see beyond our own physical pain and needs and wants and fears. 
My faith is my foundation for all things. IT STILL HURTS THOUGH!!!!!!!
and getting support her helps me so much. 

I will listen anytime. I am always sounding  little crazy, but then again life is very crazy. 
In my family we also lost my 33 year old niece in 2009: her husband murdered her with her kids in the house. So it’s been a rough couple of years....

SUPPORT Is a must!!!

thankyou for listening too.

YOU are a beautiful woman who loves her son and the Bible says ‘THAT NOTHING CAN END LOVE!” AND THAT “NOTHING CAN SEPERATE US FROM GOD’S LOVE’, ‘ NOT DEATH, NOR ANY AFTER LIFE”. (this is for beautiful son, he is in God’s care.

blessings, Vee, Colorado 

Comment by Aida (Lil Joe's mom) on August 27, 2013 at 9:56pm

Hi vee.it's been a year year 1/2'.it feels like yesterday.every time I loom st my son,s pictures I can't Believe he is not here and it is all a dream.I ask God to take me home to heaven every night.I want to see my son.then I start questioning God.why did he gives me this tragedy.I am not a bad person and am a and always tried to be kind.I have had a hard life and now with my son gone I s what next? Why is GOD making me suffer so much in this life? That is why so many people are so tire.that is why I ask my Lord to take me every night when I sleep.does all this sound crazy ? Thanks for listening.....

Comment by Aida (Lil Joe's mom) on August 27, 2013 at 9:43pm

Comment by Vee Herrera Michrina on July 30, 2013 at 6:15pm

Dear Aida, Oh honey I am so so sorry for the loss of your precious son! I am a mother of 6 grown children and do know how much we love our children, more than we even realize. I am so pleased to hear you trust the Lord, I Do too!
I lost my beloved boyfriend of 11 years last April 16, 2012. and Ive been a “Zombie” as you described! Ihave no interest in life, eating, and even fantasize of death. I live with a chronic illness and he was my loving support too. I miss him so much I want to run and scream. Today and the last 2 days has been even worse. I get these waves of reality that he is truly gone! I lose it emotionally. At times ,I can deny (NOT REALLY FORGET) but pretend it aint so. I feel confused too. I dont get it! it’s against what I have experienced in my natural life.
YOur picture of you with your son warms my heart...: (
I am so glad you have your other son and grandkids to help you have strength.
We sure need it. We need the LORD every second!
When did your son pass away? this year?? you said its the anniversary...
I have learned that even in just 15 months it does not get easier, only we miss them more and more!!!!
How are you???
God bless you
Vee, Colorado mom, age 50

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