I lost my little sister on April 21st 2012 unexpectedly.  My mother found her dead in her apartment, she was 19 years old.  On that Saturday morning i recieved a phone call from my younger brother telling me i need to go to mom she found her dead. I spent what seemed like enternity sobbing and screaming on my floor until my sister in law came to pick me up. All of my close immediate family rushed to her apartment and stayed while the police and coroner did their job.  We saw her come out in a body bag.  We are devasted and I was extremely close to her.  She was my best friend.  This has been extremely difficult and I am terrifed to be alone at my house.  I have this horrible anxiety feeling sometimes and i start breathing hard and cant sleep.  I just wonder where she is, if she is with me or if im going to look around the room and see her.  I feel like she is around me and i get so scared.  I dont know why im so scared.  I just wonder what shes doing, if she feels anything, if she can see us, if shes scared or happy or sad.  I hardly ever stay by myself and i was wondering if anyone else had these type of feelings.

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Comment by Rebecca Costello on August 7, 2012 at 6:27pm

Hi Jamie, I lost my sister Aimee on 4th April 2012 very suddenly as a result of a heart attack, I wonder too where she is and what she is doing but know I will probably never get an answer. I hate being alone too, I live with my partner less than 5-10 minutes from all of my family yet still get very anxious when I am in the house alone in fact just 10 minutes ago I rang my mother as I sa a dark shadow move across the room as I was watching tv and became panicky! I have no reason to be so scared as I never was before and even if she was here we were always best friends so she would have no bad intentions!! 

I saw some nasty things after I saw Aimee die and these go through my mind everyday when I am on my own, my partner works nights so I am alone alot on a night and have a lot of thinking time which is not great for me at the moment, I suffer chest pains and anxiety attacks since she died and just take life one day at a time.

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