I am in just a state of mind that I cant hardly be alone. When I am left alone with my thoughts, then it's like I go into zombie mode. I didn't tell him I loved him enough. I didn't spend enough time with him. I just want to know that he is okay. I want to know that he is just not in the dirt. I don't like leaving him alone out there when I go to leave the grave site. People make me feel like I should be on the track to getting on with my life. Why would I be? He was a huge part of who I am. I can see see when I close my eyes. Sometimes I can see him just lying there on the ground...gone. I did not see this in real life but this image I have in my head will not go away. I pick up the phone to call him sometimes. I have to say it out loud every single day to make it real. This pain is overwhelming at times. I see his truck or go by his house and its like a slap in my face. I say his name out loud and in conversation and people just overlook that I said it and it seems like I make them uncomfortable. I just want to hear him. I want to know that he is okay. I want him to know how much he was loved. That I miss him every single day and not a day goes by that I don't not feel this pain. In a way the pain lets me know that its real and that that is a price of the love I had for him. 

Views: 83

Comment

You need to be a member of LegacyConnect to add comments!

Join LegacyConnect

Latest Conversations

DontWannaDisclose joined Lorie Petrey's group
Oct 19
Joan Mosher posted a status
"My brother passed away on September 26th 12 Days after is 52nd birthday and I'm tough time"
Oct 19
Profile IconJoan Mosher and DontWannaDisclose joined LegacyConnect
Oct 19
CAB joined Lisa W's group
Oct 16

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2021   Created by Legacy.com.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service