Hello everyone, I'm new at this.  I've been trying to find a support group and it seems the next group I can attend is not until July 2nd.  My husband who was also my best friend, travel partner, confidant, laugh and hang out buddy passed June 7th and it is very hard to deal with this.  It doesn't feel real.  I'm trying to reach out and find support and hear other's stories because I do realize not wanting to live anymore is not healthy.  It is so uncharacteristic of me.  I'm a life loving person just like he was and it feels so hard to go on without him.  I have lots of love and support around me but no one can relate to how I'm feeling.  I'm going through the motions and trying to make myself enjoy company and doing things without him but it really really hurts.  It's hard to smile and be me anymore.

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Comment by Camilla on June 23, 2012 at 2:47pm

I feel the same Elizabeth; I really don't think I'll be the same, I really don't.  I visited a friend this morning and she said "life isn't fair".  I never thought I would agree but right now life isn't fair; when it ends like this what's the point.  The pain is unbearable. I don't want to become cynical but I just don't get it.  Sometimes I stop in my tracks and say to myself, wow he's really dead?  No more phone calls, no more kiss before I leave for work or when he comes home.  All the laughs we had...all the fun stuff we did together...it's all gone.  You're right Elizabeth, nothing will ever be the same without him.

Comment by Elizabeth Lebron on June 23, 2012 at 1:31am

I lost my husband, who was also my soul mate, best friend, partner in crime, passionate lover, idyllic romantic, funny as could be....already 2 years ago. It is very difficult, my heart hurts every single day, I cry often but not as often as before , I dont think i will ever recover from his absence. As Freud said, time is the only medicine that cures this hurt. However I think I will carry this emptiness, this void this hurt foreve. Nothing will ever be the same without him

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