I'm surprised at how devastating the loss of my parents this year has been to me. I'd been mentally preparing for this for a long time, especially regarding my father, who'd been declining for years. Both had reached a ripe old age. The biggest shock was my mom, though she was 89. She was always, and continued to be, lively and involved in many activities at the assisted living place where they lived. But she was wasting away, and I hadn't realized how badly, because she's always been thin. When she fell and broke her hip (she'd broken her other hip a few years ago, but made an incredible recovery), the doctors were shocked at how malnourished she was. She got congestive heart failure her second day at the hospital, then couldn't swallow anymore, and despite a feeding tube through her nose, could not recover. She died 14 days after being admitted to the hospital.
Watching my parents die has been the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life. I can't seem to find comfort or to get used to living in a world without them.