Death, divorce, loss of a job, loss of a home, loss of community standing ... these are different types of losses, but they all take their toll on the human spirit. For some, it makes them grow stronger and more resilient; for others, each loss weighs more heavily upon the shoulders until one feels beaten up and downtrodden.

During these times of loss, one may feel uneasy about his or her place in this world. The world has tilted, and one must transition or change into a new person who is able to deal with these unforeseen changes.

During my bereavement, sometimes I wished I could hurry through this transition and just reach the safe shore of the other side. However, I knew deep within my soul that it was in the midst of this chaos where I was going to learn my most important lessons.

I encouraged myself to delve into my own personal well of strength and to get through each day – one moment at a time. As I confronted (and eventually overcame) the issues in front of me, I became more confident that I could accomplish all that was necessary for me to heal from my loss.

I came to believe that within my hands I held the power to reframe my life, enabling me to write new chapters in The Story of Me. As we each hold our own destiny in our choice of thoughts and subsequent actions, I consciously chose to have positive and forward looking thoughts. And, as the world is simply a gigantic mirror that reflects your own thoughts back to you, I was met with mostly positive experiences.

Although it may sound enticing to have an actual crystal ball to “see” what our future holds so we can do our best to avoid more heartache and loss, the truth is that we don’t need anything outside of ourselves to reach our ultimate goals. Despite the fact that future losses cannot be avoided because they are a part of life, we each possess our own “crystal ball”. Consequently, we have the power to visualize the picture of our future and the free will and power to make it happen.

Ellen Gerst is a Life Coach specializing in grief and relationships and the author of several books on grief, including "A Practical Guide to Widow/erhood," born out of Ellen's own experiences as a young widow; 101 Tips and Thoughts on Coping with Grief, an easy-to read reference guide filled with suggestions for every day use on moving through the grief journey; and "Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story." "Love After Loss" is a blueprint on how to use her successful method to redesign your life to include a new love connection after the loss of a partner. Connect with Ellen on Facebook at Love After Loss (for daily relationship tips) and on Thin Threads of Grief & Renewal (for inspirational coping with grief thoughts). Click for more information on grief related services and books..

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