I DONT THINK I CAN DO THIS ANYMORE.....IT HAS BEEN ALMOST 6MONTHS AND EVERYBODY IN MY LIFE ACT LIKE I SHOULD BE THRU THIS AND MOVING FORWARD. MY HUSBAND COMMITTED SUICIDE HOW DO YOU MOVE FORWARD FROM THAT. I THAUGHT I WAS DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT BY GOING TO THERAPY EVERY WEEK, I STILL WORK AND TAKE CARE OF MY HOUSE AND KIDS AND MY DAD BECAUSE MY MOTHER ALSO PASSED AWAY LAST YEAR AND HE REFUSES TO LIVE IN THERE HOME. I JUST CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE THE PRESSURE, I JUST WANT TO BE WITH MY HUSBAND..........

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Comment by Gwen H on April 13, 2012 at 4:25pm

I wrote this for my sister, change the she to "he", change the "name" the we to I---I know this is a little bit of what your are feeling. Your journey is is unimaginable, all we can do is read and write to you. (((Amanda)))

We can shed tears that Eileen is gone, or we can smile because she has lived. We can close our eyes and pray that she'll come back, or we can open our eyes and see all the memories she's left us. Our hearts can be empty because we can't see her. We can turn our back on tomorrow and live in yesterday, or we can be happy tomorrow, because of all her yesterdays. We can remember only that she is gone, or we... can cherish her memory and let it live on. All we can do is what she would want: ----smile, open our eyes, love and go on...
Comment by Gwen H on April 13, 2012 at 12:59pm

Amanda,

Moving forward is something we all do at our own pace, when we are emotionally ready. There is not timetable for any of us. Do what you can, when you can, don't beat up on yourself, because of what others tell you or expect of you.I know I too want to be with my sister to continue to take care of and love her. It is not possible, so I sit and hope to heal once again.

My thoughts and shared grief are with you.

Gwen

Comment by Diamond on February 14, 2012 at 2:48pm

Hello Amanda, I hear your pain and I understand to a degree what you are feeling; and you are correct in saying that people feel- just move on - however, they have not experienced your lost.  Amanda, I was a caretaker for both my parents plus trying to have a healthy marriage - and without any additional pressure - that was alot for me.  I just did not want to go on anymore - it was the most severe part of my life.  However, what helped me and I do not know your belief system - is the trust I have in God.  I kept praying to him for the strength to deal with life as it is and to love those that I am still able to love.  I took delight in knowning that eventhough my Dad passed - the beautiful memories I have to keep and cherish is with me everyday. (2 Corinthians 1:3)

If you need time to get your emotions in place - take your time - sometime, we need quiet time and no chatter so that we can hear what is going on inside of us emotionally and spiritually - so I hope just these few words will find their way in your heart and please take care.

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