Four years ago my husband had an accident and broke his spine in four places. He wasn't supposed to walk or use his hands, but with incredible courage and hard work did both. He did have some disabilities, but never gave up trying to rehabilitate.
Almost a year ago he wasn't feeling well and after nagging him to go to the doctor for days he finally went. That night he said he felt better, ate a little something and went to bed. I found him deceased in the morning. I was his caretaker for four years and watched him struggle and persevere and now he is gone.
Now, I feel lost and stunned. The grieving process is incredibly painful. I feel as if he took a large piece of me with him. I know I've had a delayed grief reaction as all the paperwork and people slowly went back to their lives I am alone with my emotions.
I don't want to burden my family so I read a lot, exercise and paint; self-care. That's my story.

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Comment by Michele on July 16, 2017 at 5:37pm

Sara, thank you for your comforting words and advice.  I am also sorry for your loss.  I have joined the Bereaved Spouses group.  I am learning how to navigate this platform.  I thought when I posted this that I posted in The Bereaved Spouses Group? 


Comment by Sara Murphy on July 16, 2017 at 5:29pm

Michele.....I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm glad you found the Legacy site.  It's been a lifesaver for me.  If you haven't done so already, you should join the Bereaved Spouses group.  That's where we share our grief and offer comfort to others who understand what we're going through.   I lost my husband Ken on 1/13/16.  He was just 52 yrs old.  He had a complicated medical history, with his first issue being a heart attack and triple bypass in 2008 at 44 yrs old.  I can understand the huge hole in your life.  In the 8 yrs since Ken's bypass, there were many doctors appts, hospitalizations, tests, procedures, surgeries.  He started dialysis in May 2014 and during his last year, 2015, he needed a lot of help.  I went from going 100 mph to zero.  Friends and family can't understand the all consuming grief or what it feels like for everything to just stop.  I hope you'll post on the spouses site, or even just read others' posts.  You'll see that you found people who can relate.


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