My oldest brother, who was 40 years old this year, passed away about 3 weeks ago. He was married and had two small children....10 years old and 6. I have lost a family member in the past but this has been the most difficult loss I have ever experience.

Him and I were not as close when we were kids as I would have liked but when we became teenagers we started to spend more time together. We spend many sporting events together, went to the movies and sometimes just talked on the phone.

He had problems for many years...he had to have a pace maker implanted when he was 30 years old. About 6 years ago he broke his foot and it never healed correctly which cause him to loss his foot at the beginning of this year. Since then he was in and out of the hospital. Around September he caught an infection from the hospital and it attacked his heart. The infection began to spread and nothing was working so they transported him to the Cleveland Clinic in hopes that they could help him. They were able to treat him and thought they had caught all the infection well they did not. He was sick and tired of fighting.

The day that he died I was on my way from Michigan to Ohio to see him and I was a hour late to see him before he passed...this will probably always haunt me but I did see him the weekend before and we cried together. I just wish I was able to have that one last good bye!  

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