Today, we've passed another milestone, honey. Eight months since you left me. Eight months since I was thrown into a tailspin. Eight months since the beginning of the heart break. And eight months since the last time that I recall being happy.

How I wish you were here with me. This past summer would have been so much different. We would have had so much fun. We always had fun together, just being together. You could make me laugh, make me think, make me imagine and dream. I miss you. And I miss me, too. The me I used to be. That woman has changed so much already.

Yesterday I was thinking how I never go a full day without really crying anymore. I cry a lot. Yesterday was a great day, even if I was alone with the puppies again. I'm usually alone with the puppies these days. And I cried over missing you. Again.

If I could turn back the clock I would have to turn it back far enough to make sure that you saw a doctor about your blood pressure 20 years ago. If you had started paying attention to it at that time you wouldn't have been so sick. I would only hope that we would have met anyway.

I remember how you started talking to me like I was your "girl" not long after we met. You said later that you were "head over heels" for me. You said that your heart knew what your head couldn't sort out. You were the most romantic and thoughtful man that any woman could ever hope for. Was there ever anything that you would deny me, honey? Well, there is the one thing. You can't give me you. And that's what I want most of all.

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