I feel you beside me in all my endeavors ,I see you in the sky ,your always putting pressure on my heart tugging on my soul images of you filling my head .
Not a day has passed where i don't fight the tears that threaten to burst out at every thought .
They say everyone grieves in their own way i hold down the flood of tears i feel the lump in my throat , the more i hold it in the more it hurts .
I was never mad at you I never could be .I wish i would of understood you why you thought leaving us was your only option .But now your gone and all i have is faded memories that i desperately grasp at as they burn to ashes and float out of sight i crumble and fall as i let this flood of pain out.I pound the earth so hard i feel it will break , i scream so loud its like thunder above i cry so hard my body is dry this goes on for days .
Until one day while laying on the ground looking at the sky i think of a fond memory and it stays and i feel you looking down on me and i just know that you're still here for me .
Its been 18 months now i am still grieving i will always be grieving somedays i feel i'm fine and that for one fleeting moment i understand, i just hope your happy thats all i want for you . I still some days feel all of these things but i always end up with the same conclusions That your somewhere watching over me.
LOVE ALWAYS ,
your baby sis ,T