Feeling so depressed today.  Ive always been positive and was working on myself before my brother died. I just count the days i havent talked to him. 73.  My father is also an alcoholic and I am trying to help him as i fear his story will end like my brothers eventaully.  It is so hard some days to want to think life will go and be better. It does go on.  Given my family situation I feel like it is time for me to have someone take care of me. ive been the parent in my family since i was a yound teen. It sso hard to grieve and try and help my family.  My brother i have left has been distant , but he reached out to me. We are so close, but dont know how to help eachother.  I too have been drinking too much to cope on the weekends. i feel like im being destructive and given my brother died from alcoholism it makes my guilt run deep.  Just needed to type.  I dont know how to move through this. one day at a time seems like forever.  ll these posts here are so sad and although i feel grateful to share here.

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Comment by Lisa - Rocky's Mom on April 26, 2012 at 3:02am

So sorry for your loss, Jennifer.  Getting threw the first year is very hard.  You must try not to turn to alcohol or drugs to cope.  Although, you are feeling left behind right now,  you are here for a reason.  You will have to go thru the grieving process, which takes different paths for us all.  But it will get easier.  I lost my son to accidental overdose 2 years ago.  He was depressed over his divorce and his addiction started telling him he could handle more than he could.  Being from family of alcoholism, it can very eaily take a grip on you, if you drink it.  You have the power to not let alcoholism be your story, also.  Alcoholism is a disease of addiction and it is hereditary.  It runs through many families and distroys many lives.  You have to stop while you can.  You will have a much harder time getting through your grief while using alcohol to drown your sorrow.  It won't work.  Please feel free to contact me and I would be happy to talk with you anytime.  I am very familar with alcoholism and addiction, as it runs in my family also.

 

God Bless you and keep you safe

 

Lisa

Comment by S.A. Brobin on April 24, 2012 at 12:50pm

Jennifer, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sorry you are overwhelmed by this terrible loss. I also lost a sibling to substance abuse and as the adult child of an alcoholic who also died I feel your pain, somewhat. Each situation is unique. If one day is too much and it can be, focus on getting through from morning to evening or half a day at a time like from waking to lunch. minute to minute. Whatever you need to do to survive with out drinking. Which is as you say self-destructive. I don't know if you are a Bible reader or not but its worth a look-see.  First of all death is not part of God's plan for us. It is a fact that he refers to death as an enemy. 1st Corinthians 15:26 says “As the last enemy, death is to be brought to nothing.”" The Bible book Revelation 20:14 says "And death and Hades were hurled into the lake of fire. This means the second death the lake of fire" So, he will soon rid the earth of it.

Secondly, No one who loves you would want to hurt you in any way, shape, form or fashion. God is a Happy god of Love and Comfort so he wants our happiness. You don't have to do this alone. In fact he is near to you right now. Psalms 34:18 says " God is near to those that are broken at heart. And to those who are crushed in spirit he saves"  Soon he promises to get rid of pain, sorrow, sickness and death. It would be my pleasure to share more with you if you care to know what the Bible says, Miss Sylvia

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