found my dad and my sister????????NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!

This site is new to me and im definately not one for a pity party,and its hard to talk to people about death and depression cause nobody wants to be the "party pooper"maybe i can find some common ground on this site. my story in short.. when i was 15 i found my father aged 33 peacefully expired in his bed in our family home. i will always miss my dad but ive been able to finally remeber him with joy in my heart. when i was 25 tho, i found my little sister jillian 20, peacefully expired in my bed next to my then 5 yr old daughter.this one i cannot seem to shake.it hurts too much.no happy memories only sadness when i think of what a loss this is

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Comment by christina holz on June 17, 2011 at 3:58am
im glad to hear there are days u can laugh.with my father i can remeber him with joy.i miss him terribly but can share happy funny stories.prob because it is normal to loose ur father just usually much later in life.but with jill its all gloom because she was so young and so eternally sad.i just feel like she desrved a chance to make things right.but she died so suddenly and soon in her addiction.she never had the chance to realize the graveness of her actions and change them
Comment by christina holz on June 17, 2011 at 3:53am
thanku leslie really. it is very difficult to talk to people.and the hardest people to talk to are the people who are closest. i think becasue the people who truly feel the pain like other fam menbers,are afraid.everyone is afraid to make someone else hurt because its never a good time.and nobody wants to rekindle tho
Comment by Leslie L. Fiorda on June 16, 2011 at 3:04pm

Dear Christina... How hard this must be on you. There is no easy way. My heart breaks for you. And though I have never lost a sister, I lost my son at 23 years old. I do however understand your grief. We do not get over these things...but we will get through them. I am not ok yet... But I will be. I don't want my son to think he ruined my life. And knowing him, he would. Try and remember that we want to see them again someday... and it's okay to cry, to feel like your going crazy, even to be mad. Your not crazy, and it does hurt. And it does make us mad sometimes. It has been four years now for me, and I am still working on it. I have some of those days that I just can't get out of bed, and some I even laugh. This site has helped me so much. Don't ever feel like you can't talk to us, because you can. I found so many people "IN" my life that didnt want to talk about my son. For some reason they thought that "THEY" were going to make me cry. I told them...I might cry, but it wont be because of you. Find someone that will let you talk about it. Or come back here. I will keep you in my prayers...you are not alone, I am grieving with you.   Love Leslie

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