Okay, I made it through the first Thanksgiving without Steve, and I'm okay. As Steve and I had done for the past 6 or 7 years, I walked across the street to my neighbor's house for Thanksgiving dinner. I've long had the "appetizer duty" at this event because I show up on time! There were about 18-20 people on hand, most of them either the hostess' relatives or neighbors from our block. Instead of the usual going around the table to say what each of us is thankful for (the hostess knew that would be painful for me this year as Steve was always at the top of my list), a couple of people had been asked to give readings instead. Then we enjoyed a good meal and relaxed around the table. I tired to remain cheerful, and was successful: My spirits stayed reasonably high. After some initial banter over cocktails, I didn't talk quite as much as usual and found myself listening more closely to what others talked about. The hostess' mother, Sara, who has been widowed for many years, reminded me just to take things a day at a time. Sara has a practical approach to life: We just have to take what comes and make the best of what we cannot change. Because she seems to be a happy person who finds joy in life, I'm inclined to heed her advice. Certainly, I've known people who fought reality every step of the way (my maternal grandmother comes to mind), and it sure didn't make them happy. Anyway, I tried to make the best of things today, and it seemed to work out. For that - and for my good friends and neighbors - I am indeed thankful.

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Comment by Ellen Brant on November 28, 2010 at 9:36pm
Susan, I am glad to read that your first Thanksgiving without Steve was reasonably good. Mine was quiet. Just the bird and myself and lots of memories. I am just grateful that day has passed. Next is Chanukah which I will probably let pass and then the Christmas season is here that is all that I seem to hear. I am staying in today. Hope you are having a tolerable day and some sunshine on your spirit. HUGS. Ellen HUGS Help Us Grow Strong. I like that....strong.I hope so.
Comment by Charlene Ozawa on November 26, 2010 at 5:23pm
Susan, I am glad your day went well. It was good for me too. I like Sara's outlook. I am trying to think the same way. I cooked all day and when the kids came it was all worth it. At one point I got a little down but I refused to let it get to me. I enjoyed the ritual of cooking, cleaning and setting the table. A buddist saying: Pain is inevitable but misery is optional. Hugs..
Comment by Charlene Ozawa on November 26, 2010 at 5:23pm
Susan, I am glad your day went well. It was good for me too. I like Sara's outlook. I am trying to think the same way. I cooked all day and when the kids came it was all worth it. At one point I got a little down but I refused to let it get to me. I enjoyed the ritual of cooking, cleaning and setting the table. A buddist saying: Pain is inevitable but misery is optional. Hugs..
Comment by Kathy King Kates on November 25, 2010 at 8:43pm
I am so happy your holiday worked out well afterall. I feel blessed that mine did too. Knowing it would be difficult, I took my daughter and family aside early and told them that if I hurt any feelings or get grumpy let me say ahead of time I am sorry because I can not determine how the day will be for me. They understand it is also 25 which is 9 months for us since we lost our shining light. They all hugged me and said they understood. I think because I got that out early I got thru the day much easier than I expected. It was very nice having everyone gathered here together. Take care of yourself and keep up the blessed feelings. Sara's advice sounds very sound to me too.

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