Now Christmas is over and it's time to put the decorations away.  My son and I have spent our first Christmas without you and putting the tree and decorations away just makes it seems even sadder. I have been so busy with tasks of financial stuff, that I feel like I haven't had time to grieve.  People keep asking how I am, but I don't know how I am.  I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and try to keep going.  Just keep wondering what is next, and how it is going to feel in a month, and in a year. I miss you Paul, and so sad to spend my first New Years without you...