In this posting, it is my pleasure to introduce to you the first LegacyConnect Video Blog. Going forward, I will be alternating videos and written blogs; each video will be a quick 3-minute 'coping with grief' tip.

That said, this video is little lengthier at approximately six minutes, but I wanted to take the time to explain my own theory on how I believe the grief journey works. This theory compares life and the effects of grief to the age-old game of "Pick Up Sticks."

Over the past 15 years, since my first husband's death, I have been working on my own grief or helping others work on theirs. I have found, even though an individual copes with his or her grief in a personal fashion, there are many universal feelings, as well as similar hurdles to conquer.

If you are on the Legacy site, you most probably have lost a loved one or want to help someone who has. In either case, you are looking for support, for answers -- perhaps, relief from the pain of loss. Unfortunately, you can not fast forward through the pain. You have to feel and process these emotions before they can pass through your body and be released.


Although it might not seem like it, if you keep moving forward -- even if it is in baby steps -- you will get through this experience. You may ask, "Will I ever feel like myself again?" Answering this question is part of your journey. Through introspection, you will need to figure out who you are after your loss. Having experienced a monumental change in your life circumstances, doesn't it seem reasonable to think that you will come out at the other end a changed person?

This is not necessarily a bad thing. Change is evidence of growth. You are learning so many valuable life lessons that you will be able to utilize in your life going forward. If you change your perspective just a couple of degrees, you may be able to see that ray of sunshine trying to get into the dark place in which you find yourself.

I hope you enjoy the video and that it helps you to understand your journey on another level.

Ellen Gerst, a Life Coach who specializes in grief and relationships, is the author of several books on grief, including A Practical Guide To Widow/erhood, born out of Ellen's own experiences as a young widow; 101 Tips and Thoughts on Coping with Grief, an easy-to-read reference guide filled with suggestions for every day use on moving forward through the grief journey; and Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story. "Love After Loss" is a blueprint on how to use her successful method to redesign your life to include a new love connection after the loss of a partner. Join the conversation on Facebook for Love After Loss. Click for more information and to order grief related services and books.