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Comment by jen on January 7, 2019 at 12:13am

It will be 10 years next week since I last saw my dad, and hugged him the last time. He passed away in February 2009, at the age of 81.  Amazingly, I have never lost anyone I cared about or was close to until that day, other than my dog, so was not prepared for the intensity and length of grieving that ensued.  There were many pieces to the puzzle that started pulling me under following his death,  my own undiagnosed medical and mental health issues, the stress of parenting a disabled child with 2 older children struggling as well. 4 years passed and it all began to swallow me.  I knew I wouldn't be able to live like that much longer, my family was suffering watching me struggle.  So I had to decide,  I will live, or I will not.  I chose to live.  I took myself to a doctor, who started me on the path to recovering. She put a team of people together who have helped me pull through, and be happier than I have been most of my adult life.  All through this process,  I know my dad was along side me.  There have been difficult days, but mostly the good memories have pushed me past those, and I learned to appreciate and respect my dad in a different way.  I catch myself smiling now when I think of him, and I know he is near.  Everyone's journey is different, mine has not been easy, but yes,  it HAS become easier. I encourage you to be active in experiencing your grief, let the process happen, talk with other people, get help if you can't seem to pull yourself out after a few months. Take care of yourself.  jen