Grieving my son Daniel David Rivera 10-22-87 to 11-16-08

THIS IS LISA HALSEY DANIEL'S MOM TODAY IS HIS 2 YR ANNIVERSRY THAT MY BELOVED SON HAS BEEN GONE. IT IS GETTING hard to understand Y didi this happend to me was i a bad mother, he was such a great kid that be came a better man he was so loving and caring, funny, made people laugh there will never be another Daniel D. Rivera. people say that they promis that things will get better and the pain will be tolerable i don't see that any time soon.my life is so incomplete with out him i have another son who needs me i don't want him to feel that i loved his brother more than him but i don't ive been spending alot of time with Michael everyone tells me that i am compairing him to Daniel and iam not exp: like your brother and i did this your brother would say this what would daniel say about what you are doing. I need to stop that i know i do everyday Daniel name is always mentioned at home at work or if iam just talking to somebody, Daniel and i had a special bond i had him to me it seems like i was young but i was 20 i didn't have my act together just got a job just found out 3 weeks later i was pregnant his biologic father was my first love i was 13 and he was 16 when we met so i was just becomming a teenager. At first i felt like i was in heavan i guy that was my puupy love my first then 4 yrs later he started cheating on me and that crushed my heart very bad wich i thought at that time but i would go threw that pain now than losing my son that is the most painful thing. Then i got pregnant at 19 had him when i was 20 i thought that would change his life he was a good father the 1st year and a half that went back on his cheating ways i left my son and i. so me and Daniel went threw alot he was there for me i went threw a deep depression but i to think of my little boy. then i got pregnant again with Micheal 5yrs later because thieir father and i just saw each other one more time thats when i got pregnant with MIchaael at first i thought it was a mistake so i was upset but Daniel was so happy that he was going to be a big brothet and that he was he was a great big brother he loved Micheal like he was his dad because they didn.t have a dad i met my husband when Micheal was about 8 mo. old and he treated my boys like his own and he is still here tell this day we have been together for 17 years. Their father wanted to come back itno their lives but it is to late Daniel is gone amd Micheal doesn't want anything to do with him. what iam trying to say is that Daniel and i were best friends and a special bond that we shared just last year my husband and i told him the truth that my husband wasn't his real dad that crushed my husband all Daniel wanted to do is protect his little brother. That is what a great son and a brother he was and a good friend to many. He was a positive roll model ti so many

we miss you son your a special angel that has his wings and you are with God our father.

Thanks to everyone tthat has sent me messages may God bless you all we are here to help each other

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Comment by Shirley Crawford on December 9, 2010 at 8:24pm: Lisa, Two years can seem like two weeks or months when it comes to the loss of our children. A mother's love never stops and it's even deeper when your child is your friend, to me that seems like double hurt. It is good that you have an outlet to express yourself here on Legacy. It seems all to familiar that people don't speak of our loved ones anymore, why is that. I long for someone to just mention my son's name. I wonder if it's out of respect for me or have they forgotten him that quickly? Legacy has been a blessing to many grieving families. I never thought that I would be sharing my feelings with other greiving mothers. It does help to share our thoughts and yes, our pain.

Comment by Susan - Donny's Mom on December 8, 2010 at 10:38am: Lisa....I was reading your post this morning.....and send my thoughts to you for the loss of Daniel.
What a very handsome young man. You can see the sweetness in his smile in the picture you posted.
I too lost a son, Donny. He was 39 and left us on Christmas morning 2009. Our family is coming on to the first year of his angel birthday. This month is very hard on us all. We have gone to a couple of memorial services for him and that has given us some comfort but the thought of him not being here just is unbelieveable, as you well know.
Hugs to you and your family through these rough holidays to come.

Comment by Jackie on December 8, 2010 at 2:11am: Dear Lisa, I wanted to say how I can feel your pain of losing your son. My only son, Matthew, was
killed in a motorcycle accident on January 14, 2010. His birthday was Novembe 14, he would have been 28. My huband and I divorced in 2003 and Matthew came to Mobile to be near me. We had some hard years together but nothing will every replace the closeness we had as Mother & Son. There was no doubt he loved his Mom and he knew his Mom loved him. I didn't think I could make it without him. I was looking forward to being a grandmother one day. All I can say was God held
me and has kept me going without my son or husband. At my weakest point God made me stronger
than I would have ever imagined.

Comment by JOYCE MASHER, 4 Amy 5158791808 on November 17, 2010 at 9:19pm: So sorry to hear of your loss, but we have you in our thoughts on the anniversary of your Daniel. I'm a day late, I get lost reading some of the posts.
We are into 2 yrs 2 mnths on the 18th, and with the next 2 months ahead, and all this holiday stuff, I am worse than the first 2 holidays without her. We too have two other children, they dont talk about it much either. But I sure do hope they know we love them just as much. they are half siblings. So my husband has lost his only child. Hang in there as best can be. I see your son was born the same yr as my Amy, and passed the same year. God bless you. RIP Amy 5/15/87-9/18/08