Has anyone else had other people hijack their siblings funeral?

My Brother died last Saturday in a tragic car accident.  He has two ex wives, one he divorced over 20 years ago, but they have two kids together.  The other, he just divorced a few months ago and still practically lived with, and still loved.

When he died, the first wife just totally hijacked the funeral and shut out everyone else including the most recent ex, his siblings and absolutely everyone else.

She browbeat their sons into planning the cheapest funeral even only three lines of obituary in the paper and a facebook page where she posted pictures of the crash site and solicited money and pot luck dishes for the funeral, even though my brother's auto insurance will cover all the expenses and he had tons of life insurance which will pay for anything.

She had her sons ask the most recent ex wife for $3000 for additional expenses without any indication of what those expenses might be.

But the worst thing is that she took her wedding dress from hers and my brothers wedding from 1980 and had it put in my brothers casket and it was cremated with him.

His funeral is on Wednesday and I am afraid I may say or do something to this woman I might regret.   My brother was the best person I've ever known and a military hero whom everyone loved and this witch has made this all about her.

Any advice?

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