I dont know how to do this Stephen. How do I handle your sister being pregnant and hoping it is a boy? How do I get through her wedding without ruining things for her because I am not ready for them? How do I get through her wedding with your other sister there not talking to me? How do I deal with the loss of so many friends? I wish you were here to talk to, you always had time for me. You were my champion, taking on your disabled mom's causes and my voice when I could do nothing about things. Now if I am my own voice, I am considered crazy or dismissed as a grief thing, stroke thing etc or my favorite just a plain out witch. I just need to know how Steph, How. I love you more than you will ever know.