I lost my husband on 12/7 suddenly he passed out driving to work and hit a bridge...., we have 5 children 3 in college 1 in the Navy and a 4 1/2 year old... Im at the point of giving up... I just cant do this without him... I'm trying to get through each day but I'm at the point of just not caring anymore... people keep telling me to be strong for the kids but I dont know how.... I cry all the time, I have to make myself do things, I cant sleep or eat and have really stopped caring... I dont know what to do... we had no savings so not only have I lost my best friend who was my everything I dont see anyway to avoid losing everything else... since the funeral everyone has really stopped coming by and I really didnt have friends... my life consisted of going to work,home and taking care of him and the baby... just looking at the baby breaks my heart and he is always asking me stuff and it just makes me break out in tears... I have heard that time will help but right now I just dont believe it... I really just feel like checking out... I am at a total loss... this is the worst pain I have ever felt in my life and I dont think I can make it through...

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Comment by Dwight Wells on January 8, 2012 at 2:27am

So sorry for your loss Melissa...We lost our 23 year old son on 11/3 to suicide...He was our only child and my best friend, and mommy's baby boy forever. It's seems like there's nothing to work for anymore, everything we did was for him. That said, I know he loved us and told us so in his letter. If I were to give up and not look after his mother, my wife, he would not appreciate that. I know what I need to do, but it's still so raw. We have found a local support group, and I highly recommend them. To date, we have been to two meetings, and I can honestly say they have helped a little. Be strong, we're all here for the same reason, to hopefully help ourselves, and each other. God Bless!!   

Comment by Amanda T Ford on December 21, 2011 at 2:47pm

Im trully sorry for your loss, I lost my husband on 09/26/2011. the pain is still difficult sometimes but it is true with time things will get a little better never the same but s little better i also have a 12yr old son and a 4yr old daughter by him, and that is trully what keeps me going everyday, i show them its ok to cry and grieve but i also show them how to be strong and get thru this you will never get over it but understand you will get thru this. stay strong if you need a friend i am here this isnt easy but we can get thru it together.  Love Amanda 

Comment by Dee W on December 20, 2011 at 2:49pm

I am so sorry for your loss!  I just lost my husband a few months back.  It's been tough but the two things I found that helped me get through the intense pain was my faith in God and my children.  Every day I'd remind myself that I need to do these things FOR THEM.  I went through the same thing...couldn't eat for days...but I finally made myself eat for my children's sake.  I must admit sleeping is still hard and it's been 7 months now but it will gradually get better.  Allow yourself to grieve...don't try to hold it all in...being strong for the kids is not about having it all together, it's about showing them it's ok to grieve and that you'll get through it together but it will take time.  

Comment by Ellen Brant on December 20, 2011 at 2:47pm

Melissa, YOU are not at all alone. I lost the love and soulmate of my life  suddenly too ...Doug near 15 months now and it still feels like yesterday sometimes. After three months of losing him I was crossing a parking lot on foot and a lady in an SUV was texting and drove over me and crushed me. That was last new years eve after the holidays, our wedding anniversary and what was to be a new year. My pain emotionally is deep and my physical pain and now permanently handicapped and no longer  being able to work as a Kindergarten teacher is all irrelavant without Doug...but with the support of the people on this site and remembering you are still here with beautiful children to carry on your husbands legacy, I only pray for you to reach within and share the pain, scream, cry and let it out and just know you are not alone. Big hugs to you. Ellen 

Comment by Robert E. Ryan on December 20, 2011 at 1:08am

Dear Melissa, I lost my wonderful wife 11/23/11. And feel the same as you describe about yourself. The only thing that has helped me put one foot in front of the other is to think of my actions as doing for Rhonda (my wife). Taking care of our kids (so important to her) for example. I don't have the will to do anything but cry, but I don't want to let her down so I keep going. It seems to help me get through the day. I hope you feel a little better next week than this week. And a little better next month than this month. I think that is the most we can hope and pray for. Chances are we will be ok again someday, but never the same. Bob

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