I'm a mom, a grieving mom...not a super hero!

I lost my oldest child and only son on January 30th.  Just over 3 short months ago.  This weekend I will face my first Mother's Day without either my son and my mom has been gone for some time now.  I feel so utterly alone!  I feel as if the rest of the world has moved on, forgotten about him and forgotten my pain.    When I express my pain I'm told that  I have to be strong because I still have a beautiful daughter and husband who need me.   This just makes me feel worse!  Now I feel guilty for a pain so deep that I can hardly bear it already. 

My question is WHO  can I need?  Who is suppose to be here for me?  I'm a mom, a human, grieving mom who lost a huge part of her.   I am not a super hero.   I'm a mom who wants her son back yet doesn't want to cry and upset those she's suppose to be strong for, as they seem to be moving on just fine....but where does that leave me? 

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Comment by Melinda Ellen Guinn on November 16, 2012 at 4:05pm

I'm here for u. It's u and me. Eventually you'll be w/Candace. She didn't mean to die, too many beers. You know we can't drink! She's waiting for me.

Comment by Melinda Ellen Guinn on July 23, 2012 at 4:51pm

Terrill, That was moving. I lost my just turned 30 yr old daughter, Candace Rae Watson , on 4/09/10. It was an accident. Her and her hysband were having a b-b-q, playing w/their 3 daughters and enjoying some beers. They got into an arguement so he took their daughter's and went to his parent's home down. She took some Loritabsalso. When he came home, early the next morning, she was gone. He tried mouth to mouth, chest compressions and called 911;all to no avail! My beautiful, bright, Mother, wife , daughter and friend to many was gone. She's all I think about. Part of me died that day, I know I'll never be the same.

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